Oh Oprah, You've Gone Done It Again

Just a little Oprah to kick start your Friday.  "Only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward." Amen sista!

Post by Emeka Mbadiwe.

TGIF y'all!
♥, Ashton Tilton

Incredible

Happy Monday y'all!

Let's make it an incredible week.

 ♥, Ashton Tilton

Hands Free Mama Book Chat: Introduction

I have been trying to nail down a good book to read for quite some time now y'all.  I feel like every book I've picked up in the last month, I read a couple of chapters or even just a few pages, and I just couldn't get into it.  This happens to me from time to time with reading.  I can't find a book that satisfies the need I'm looking to fill.  Recently I've picked up everything from self-help to sci-fi to romance to biography, and nothing seemed to fit!

A couple of months ago, I was in the grocery store, and a book caught my eye.  It was called "Hands Free Mama".  Can you guess why it did?  That's right y'all, I am addicted to my phone.  Not that I look at it all the time (okay, okay what's your definition of "all the time"?), but I have to have it with me.  If it's not with me, I'm in a state of panic to find it to make sure I haven't missed any calls or texts or heaven forbid any snaps.  Needless to say, the whole "Hands Free Mama" enticed me.  

So I bought it.  I drove back home from the grocery store, and opened it up to get my read on.  And of course, I liked what the book had to say.  The introduction talked about how to be a Hands Free Mama in our "fast-paced, overly pressured, media-saturated world."  I found myself nodding my head, and as I read on, I thought, "Well that's a nice thought," or "Good for her for doing that."  

At that point, the Hands Free Movement didn't mean anything to me quite yet.  I bought the book because I knew I liked the concept of what she was trying to say, but I wasn't ready to commit to this whole Hands Free Movement quite yet.  

So I put the book on our bookshelf, until last week I picked it up again and knew without hesitation...I was ready to commit.

Life ever since Todd started school again has been hectic to say the least.  Usually by this time in a new semester, I feel like I've adjusted to his new schedule (our new schedule) and have a pretty good handle on things.  Not so much this semester.  I feel like Todd's busier than ever, I'm busier than ever, and our lives are a constant high speed.  From work responsibilities to church responsibilities to home responsibilities to family responsibilities and all the random stuff that fills every nook and cranny possible, we're both worn thin.  I often ask myself (like someone made mention in LDS General Conference), "Does my family receive my leftover efforts as a parent?"  

When I thought about whether or not Reese gets my "leftover efforts" as a parent and if Todd gets my "leftover efforts" as a wife, I did some serious digging and felt that it was time to resurrect "Hands Free Mama" by Rachel Stafford.  After reading the first couple of chapters, without trying to sound too dramatic, I was left in a puddle of tears and really felt like I was ready to commit to taking charge of my life again.  Not so much cutting out social media for good because let's be real, it also brings me so much joy to document our life through blogging and Instagram.  I love capturing moments with my family that I can look back on and relive forever.  But there will be balance.  And it will not be the most important.  

As I've thought about this, I thought sharing and recording my journey through this book would be more fulfilling to me and make it more meaningful.  It would allow me to look back on my journey and see how I've grown.  Plus any time I've made a significant effort to pursue a change or some sort of growth, it always seems to go better and stick longer if I do it with others.  Which is where you come in!

I want to extend the invitation to YOU.  This journey is not just for those who feel they are consumed by a media-saturated world.  This is a journey for anyone who feels like their life has lost its savor and maybe a little meaning.  Or that you've lost the ability to see its meaning and beauty.  This is a journey for anyone who is ready to "let go of perfection to grasp what really matters"!  

I will be having weekly posts about my progress.  The sweets of the journey and the sours of the journey.  The things that are easy and the things that are hard.  I'll be sharing personal insights I get from the book, and I hope you will join in some of the conversation!  If you're really feeling dedicated to the change, you can get the book here.  You can also check out Rachel Stafford's blog on being a Hands Free Mama here.  She is one heck of a woman, and her blog is inspiring.  One definitely worth your time to read.  

"May this book be your tool to start digging.  Digging for the life you want to live now, not someday."

When I read this at the end of the introduction, my heart surged.  Seriously.  It was on fire.  I knew I needed this in my life right now!  

Are you ready?  Ready to commit to letting go and embracing what matters most?  If you feel so inspired, join me on this journey!  I'd love to have you.  Here is the Hands Free Mama Pledge that I vow to hold dear to my heart.  The pledge that holds hope for the future and a promise that life is to be lived and to be lived whole-heartedly.

{via}

I hope you have a lovely day y'all!  Cheers to letting go.

❤, Ashton Tilton

This Little Life of Mine

Crucial and Exciting Bizz:  Sometimes Buns uses our laptop for homework, so I can't write down type up what is in my heart at the moment it's on my brain, which is why I keep a journal.  Where I can write down everything I'm feeling, and then decide what I want to share with the whole social media world because let's be real, the whole "being real" in media is awesome (trust me I'm all about it), but there are some things that are better left unsaid, lol.

Last night, I thought a lot about the little life of mine.  I thought of myself as a momma, a wife, a worker, a blogger, a friend, and as a disciple of Christ.  After a little digging and some patience in sorting out my thoughts, there were some really crucial and pretty exciting things I learned about myself.  Or I guess I was just reminded that....

1.  I want to take pictures of the beautiful world around me.

2.  I want to meet people and share their stories.

3.  I love to create beauty around me, especially in my home.  

4.  I love to find beauty around me, especially in nature.  Click here for how I feel about our Earth.

5.  I like making people feel good about themselves.  That they're pretty and wonderful.

6.  I am passionate about recognizing your self worth as a child of God.

7.  I want to serve more in my community.

8.  As me sweet friend reminded me here, "I want to care about people and not possessions."

9.  I want to find stories to share in the world around me.

10.  Last but not least, I love my life. 

This life as a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister, and a follower of Christ.  This life as a woman.  This humble life I lead.  I love every minute of it.  Even the minutes (hours, days, or weeks) that are hard because it's those minutes that have shaped the woman I am today, and I couldn't be more grateful.  I also realized that there is nothing wrong with dreaming big.  Because there is power and happiness and self-realization that come from having big dreams.  Don't let others down your dreams or make you feel that they are unworthy or unrealistic of chasing.  Any dream is a dream worth chasing.

So cheers to living out your dreams, and cheers to chasing your dreams even if they don't work out the way you had planned, because at least you were brave enough to go for it!  Cheers to the stuff that shapes you.  And cheers to your beautiful life.  Because guaranteed it is beautiful, even if you find it hard to see.

❤, Ashton Tilton

Friday Night Lights: The Possibilities

Current Obsession:  Because who doesn't love Friday Night Lights and this pair right here?  Tyra is by far my favorite character on the show.  I've always had this soft spot in my heart for Tyra (yes there is room for a TV Show character in my heart, lol!) because she never seems to think she's good enough.  For a while she always sells herself short and doesn't expect that great things could be in store for her.  She settles.  She lets how others view her and her circumstances define who she is.  Until she doesn't.  She finally sees herself as something worthwhile.  She sees herself as someone who can accomplish great things.  In the episode Buns and I watched last night, she's writing her college essay, and her loyal buddy Landry asks her when the change happened.  The change from not caring about her future to deciding that she was going to reach for what seemed impossible.  If you're a big ol' blubber-butt like I am, you'll cry.  An onslaught of tears, haha.  Because what she says is amazing.  And something that I hope anyone who is afraid to reach for the stars remembers.  Something I hope Reese remembers as she grows up.  That the sky's the limit.  

"Two years ago, I was afraid of wanting anything.  I figured wanting would lead to trying and trying would lead to failure.  But not I find I can't stop wanting.  I want to fly somewhere on first class.  I want to travel to Europe on a business trip.  I want to get myself invited to the White House.  I want to learn about the world.  I want to surprise myself.  I want to be important.  I want to be the best person I can be.  I want to define myself instead of having others define me.  I want to win and have people be happy for me.  I want to lose and get over it.  I want to not be afraid of the unknown.  I want to grow up and be generous and big-hearted, the way people have been with me.  I want an interesting and surprising life.  It's not that I think I'm going to get all these things, I just want the possibility of getting them.  College represents possibility.  The possibility that things are going to change.  I can't wait."  -Tyra

❤, Ashton Tilton

I Didn't Feel Beautiful

Hinckley. My little pal.  The little guy I'm about to tell you all about.  Here's a picture I took of him when he was 2 years old, about 5 years ago.  Driving home from Brassy Apple's Secret Project (launching September 29th) last week, I was reminded of a memory from when he was this old.  It came flooding back, and I remembered everything about that day like it was yesterday.  It brought me to tears just thinking about it.  It hits close to home, but I don't ever want to forget it, so here goes!

My whole life, I struggled with acne.  Oh yeah folks, we're talking Struggled, with a capital "S".  It plagued me as a teenager.  It got a little better as I went to college, but still bothered me and never completely went away.  I always noticed the clear skin of other girls or celebrities I saw in the media.  I'd always wished for that smooth, blemish-free skin.  I was embarrassed by the marks on my face, especially the uneven redness of it.  I never went anywhere without makeup on.  I always tried to cover the acne up, but it never quite covered it the way I wanted it to, and it definitely couldn't take away the rough, unevenness of it.  It was a major insecurity of mine and often the source of low self-esteem.  

Y'all I had tried it all.  I had been to the dermatologist a million times, and every new "procedure" or "daily face routine" failed.  Nothing ever worked.  Shocker.  My skin has always been extremely sensitive and more often than not, I would break out from the new "daily face routine" suggested by said dermatologist.  So. Freaking. Frustrating.  Not to mention incredibly hard on my hopeful attitude that this routine would be different.  This time it would work.  This time I would come out on top.  This time I would finally have that perfect skin I'd been dreaming of. Ha...ha.......HA. 

Well, one time in particular coming back from the dermatologist with a new procedure in tow, I got home, ran upstairs, and couldn't wait to get started.  Even though it would've taken time for it to show results, I wanted to get a move on with that ish.  But sure enough, not even ten minutes after applying the cleanser, toner, and cream (sweet merciful, I wish I knew then what I know now about skin care...simplify, simplify, simplify), my face broke out like cuhRAZY.  I was a mess y'all.  A freaking hot mess.  I'd never had my skin break out so terrifically horrible before.  I was swollen, red, itchy, and my acne was magnified ten fold.  I remember it like it was yesterday, looking in the mirror and being so unhappy, embarrassed, and completely mortified.  I didn't even want to show my face to my family.  I was so painfully embarrassed.  

So I cried.

I cried so hard and so long.  I cried because of my insecurity.  I cried because it didn't seem like I would ever add up.  I felt like no one would think I was pretty.  I felt exposed.  I cried because I didn't feel beautiful.  

After wetting a rag and patting my face, and trying to remove any sign of my hysterics, I finally braved going downstairs.  As I walked downstairs, my sister, her hubby, and my brother were playing a board game.  I'd half expected them to look up at my red, puffy, acne-filled face and drop their jaws at the horror.  But of course they didn't.  My sister looked up at me and said, "Finally!  Wanna jump in on the game?"  She didn't stare, and she didn't say a word.  I told her I'd sit out for this round and hop in the next.  So I sat on the piano bench and watched as they played.  

And that's when it happened.  

My sweet little nephew, Hinckley, climbed right up on the piano bench next to me, and completely caught me off guard.  Unexpectedly, he pulled himself up onto my lap and cupped his little hands and fingers around my cheeks.  He looked me straight in the eyes with the most sincere, sweet look on his face, and said, "Ashin, you are BOOOtiful."  

Yep.  That happened.  Bring on the falls, Niagara Falls.  Right then and there, my 2 year old Nephew taught me one of the most valuable lessons a girl needs to know.  And sure enough, I cried again.  

To that little 2 year old, I was beautiful not because of what I looked like on the outside but because I was his aunt.  Because I hugged and kissed him every time I saw him.  Because I laughed with him.  Because I cuddled and watched Backyardigans with him.  Because I played toys with him.  Because I loved him.  

And I believe that.  I believe that loving, supporting, and serving the people around us makes us happy and beautiful.  You are beautiful because of the listening ear you provide for your friend whose marriage is struggling, whose transition to being a new, young mom is lonely, whose kids have all left home and being an empty-nester is lonely, or whose husband lost his job and money is tight.  You are beautiful because you texted that person to let them know how much they mean to you.  You are beautiful because you're a caring, invested grandma who wants each and every grandchild to know they're unique and loved.  You're beautiful because you make dinner every night even if it means ordering in from Papa Johns.  You're beautiful because you're a good sister who supports her family in their endeavors and ambitions.  You're beautiful because you fold the laundry and do the dishes, so when your hubby gets home from work the house is clean.  You're beautiful because instead of doing the laundry and dishes, you let your 4 year old pretend to be a chef and you were the customer at her restaurant or you let your 2 year old show you the mess he can make by being Godzilla and destroying all the toys and legos in sight.  You're beautiful because you're 15 and noticed that there was someone new at school, so you said hi, asked where she's from, and if she wanted to sit with you and your friends at lunch.  You're beautiful because you try to be a good student and good kid, even if things are hard at home.  You're beautiful if school is hard for you and you feel like you're barely scraping by because what no one knows is that you're going to be an artist, an engineer, a musician, a beautician, or some other talent that can't be measured by run of the mill "academics".  You're beautiful because you're a strong, independent, happy woman who loves to work hard, enjoys her career, and makes the workplace an uplifting, supportive community for her coworkers.  You're beautiful because you attend church every week.  You're beautiful if you don't go to church and hike with your family instead.  You're beautiful if your beliefs are founded in goodness, reflection, and unity.  You're beautiful if your beliefs are founded in God.  

You're beautiful because you are your own person.  

There is not one person who has the same heart and mind as you.  Don't let anyone strip that from you.  Don't let the media tell you what you should look like or how you should act.  Don't let the girl in your Chemistry class make you feel stupid because you don't understand what you're doing.  Don't let the girl on TV make you feel like you're not pretty enough.  Don't let the girls who have boyfriends make you feel like something's wrong with you because you're not in a relationship.  Don't let the mom down the street who always seems to have it together make you feel like you don't have it together.  Don't let the empty-nesters who seem to have found their niche make you feel like you don't have one.  I can't remember who said this, but whoever it was really hit the nail on the head... 

“Sometimes people are beautiful.  Not in looks.  Not in what they say.  Just in what they are.”

Cheers to being who you are because it's a waste of time to be anybody else.

Hope y'all are having a fabulous day, and if not, then no worries because tomorrow's Friday! #holla

❤, Ashton Tilton

Humpty-Dumpty: The Golden Egg

Humpty Dumpty:  Yesterday at church before the third meeting, I handed Roni off to Buns (to learn more about the third meeting, click here).  I was a free woman!  Hollaaaa.  For one hour, I could sit and enjoy the messages that were shared.  The meeting started off with a thought from a sister who has had a tough hand dealt to her in life.  She started off by sharing very personal struggles.  She is a beautiful woman but shared her struggles with self-esteem and self-worth.  Throughout her life because of her past, she has felt at times, worthless.  My heart sank.  

That morning before she church,  she was getting ready, going over in her head the message she had already prepared to share with us.  She looked at herself in the mirror and thought of the movie she watched with her children the night before, Puss in Boots.  It seemed silly but her heart swelled, and she knew she needed to bag the message she had already prepared and share the story of Humpty Dumpty (according to Puss in Boots) instead.  

I've never seen the movie, but from what I understood, Humpty was known as a criminal in the beginning.  Puss in Boots, the defender of good, and Humpty Dumpty, the criminal, became the most unlikely friends.  In the beginning, Humpty robbed the bank and Puss was framed, so they had to flee from the police.  Throughout the movie, they face all sorts of adventures and obstacles.  Some they overcame easily and some not so much.  At the end of the movie, Humpty Dumpty wants to fix his mistakes and sacrifices himself to save the day by jumping off of a canyon cliff (I'm probably slaughtering this story haha but we're gettin' to the good stuff).  When Puss in Boots goes to see where Humpty fell in the canyon, he sees a Golden Egg surrounded by cracked egg shell.  Humpty survived the fall, and Puss says, "I always knew you were good inside."

The woman that told this story explained that sometimes its hard to find the good in others or even to find the good in yourself.  We are hard on others and even harder on ourselves:  we are our worst critics.  We let outside appearances or past indiscretions taint our opinions of others and contort the lens through which we see ourselves.  We're quick to pass judgement instead of quick to forgive and love.  She told about how ironically she was driving to church and passed by a man that she immediately judged based on his outward appearance.  She caught herself mid-judgement and was reminded of Humpty Dumpty: the Golden Egg.  She felt impressed that he was someone's Golden Egg.  That we are all someone's Golden Egg.  That we are all God's children, and we need to see people as who they can become.  Seeing them as someone who's has tremendous worth and potential.  Because we've all got serious potential, if only we could see it!

And that was her message:  That we are all Golden Eggs.  We all have imperfections and parts of ourselves that we feel just don't quite make the cut.  Parts of us that make us feel less than.  Things about ourselves we wish we were better at.  This woman shared that in the eyes of the world, she might not have accomplishments or characteristics that define her as successful and beautiful.  But in God's eyes, she is both.  In God's eyes she is more beautiful than she can even fathom.  I can't even begin to describe the power that was in her message!  I felt strength and reassurance in the fact that I am a Golden Egg.  That you are a Golden Egg!  I felt confidence in that truth.  We all have such different exteriors and live in such different circumstances, but we find common ground in that we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a God who loves us with a love that is infinite and unconditional.  I hope you feel that today.  Especially if today is a day you feel a little less than or like you're not quite enough.  Because you are.  For heaven sakes, you really are!

Cheers to being Golden Eggs y'all.
❤, Ashton Tilton

Recycled: Love Your Girls

Just because I'm too lazy to write something original today, here is a recycled post of mine from a couple years ago.  A piece of something that I'm passionate about.  Love your girls!  AND HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL.  We made it.

I've been in the process of organizing an "I Am Beautiful" program for groups of girls 15-18 at a local youth detention center revolving around bullying and finding true beauty based off of BYU Woman's Resources' "Recapturing Beauty" launch in 2010.  The whole process has been slow and it took me a while to really put my nose to the grind in doing it.  But after talking with one of my 6th grade girls that I student taught a couple months ago about her battle with bullying, nasty, incessant name-calling, vicious notes passed about her, and feeling that all the horrible things said about her must be true..."Why else wouldn't I have any friends Mrs. Barrett?"  My heart broke in two when she told me that, and I knew I needed to step up to the plate.  For whatever reason, I am pretty dang passionate about all things womanhood, inner beauty, empowerment, and confidence...feeling your self worth and seeing your beauty.   Especially these young girls who NEED to not only see their beauty but discover what beauty really is....especially at such a young age.  That's where it starts.  Bullying is real.  Your own children, teenagers, nieces, nephews, grand-kids, etc...it's a reality for them.  Children need to know they are loved.  They need kind words.  They need to learn to know their self-worth, so if they face bullying, they'll have the confidence to brush it off and stand tall despite what's thrown their way.  Even if your child isn't the victim of bullying, they see it.  They know what it looks like.  Teach them what it looks like.  Teach them to stand up for those who are mistreated.  Teach them to be kind.  Show them their worth by using kind, encouraging, and constructive words.  Hold high expectations for them, but don't expect perfection. Expect them to recognize their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and strive to do better in the future because they can. Make sure they know that you know, they can succeed.  

Bottom line...love them. Love them for who they are.  Love them unconditionally.

The following video is a poem by Shane Koyczan, a victim of bullying.  Stumbled across this and loved it.  I was taken back at first by some intense parts, but I love the message he is sending about beauty.

"...because they see her heart before her skin."

“  … and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.”

Support. Empower. Connect.

XOXO

Relating to this topic is a really wonderful article by fitvillians...Talk about a powerhouse of womanhood.
Please read, worth your time.

"When kids are younger — especially before they’re consuming tons of media and have friends — they get almost all of their behavioral cues from their parents. If their parents think it’s okay to call people names, then they’ll think it’s okay to call people names. If their mom hates her body, they can learn to hate their bodies, too. 

If you want kids to learn that all people are equal and good, it requires vigilance. You can’t change the world around you — and you can’t always protect them — but you can explain to them that everyone’s equal, and you can say it again and again.This goes double for disparaging your own body in front of your children. 

My mom always struggled with what she perceived to be fatness, and therefore was always on a diet. I don’t know how many disparaging comments I’ve heard her say about herself in my life, but if I had a dollar for every one, I could probably pay for my enormous amounts of therapy. 

It’s hard enough to be a woman in our sexist culture, and the greatest gift we can give our girls is confidence in themselves — and that includes their bodies. As a parent, you’re competing with a plethora of outside influences — TV, advertising, friends, bullies, teachers — for your child’s attention. Inevitably, we’re all screwing up the kids around us — don’t worry, we’re teaching them good lessons, too! — but this is one thing that’s so freaking important. 

A girl’s sense of self is everything."

Reese Takes Downtown Provo

A couple of days ago, I took Reese to our little downtown in Provo to take some pictures against this mural that's on one of the walls.  I see it every time I drive down Center Street and have always thought it would be the coolest spot to take some pictures.  So we did!  It was nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air.  I think we both needed it.  I love our little downtown.  Hope you enjoy the pics!  

On a completely different note, something I've been thinking a lot about lately is being more patient and kind to ourselves.  Sounds a little self-absorbed, but I really believe it's so important for every woman to learn that by taking care of yourself emotionally and mentally, you will be a better mom, wife, friend, and person in general.  It is not selfish to take time for yourself every now and again.  I believe it's necessary.  

"Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others." (Lama Yeshe)

Something that I really try to remember when I'm going through something tough, is that I'm probably not the only one.  What's made the biggest difference for me in tough times is leaning on the people that matter most in my life.   The people I trust and who I know love me no matter what.  I really feel like talking through whatever's going on in our lives helps us to navigate how we're really feeling and often helps us uncover resolutions we didn't even know we could come up with!  So I read this article, "Self-compassion: Learning to be Nicer to Ourselves," a while back when I was working on the "I Am Beautiful" campaign that really stood out to me.  In the article it gives a few things we can do to create compassion for ourselves.  It sounds cheesy, but I think as women we underestimate how important it is to remember to not be so hard on ourselves!
  
 One of the suggestions in the article was to embrace your common humanity.  In the article it says, 

"Many times when you criticize or judge yourself, you feel isolated.  It seems as though you are the only one in the world who has that particular flaw.  And yet, we are all imperfect.  We all suffer.  And so we are all connected by our shared humanity.  

One of the wonderful outcomes of self-compassion is our enhanced sense of belonging, the feeling that we are all in this together.  The next time you are looking in the mirror and not liking what you see, remember that you are an integral part of a flawed, wonderful, miraculous human tribe."

And you are!  Your part in this world is precious and meaningful.  You are here for a purpose.  Flaws and all!  We've all got 'em, and I really believe it's our flaws that teach us more about ourselves, and by learning how to navigate those flaws, we become stronger individuals.

My sister Megan gave me a scrapbook of pictures of me growing up for my 16th birthday, and it was stock full of quotes.  That scrapbook is worn and torn from all the times I opened it up to read the quotes and look at all the pictures of me growing up.  That book always reminded me that I was a daughter of God with my own story to tell.  It comforted me a lot in high school and college when I was trying to navigate who I was and what I contributed to the world I lived in.  One of my favorite quotes in the book was by Max Ehrmann.  It said, 

"You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."

I hope all y'all remember that you have a purpose and are here for a reason.  Be kind to yourself!  You're doing better than you think. 

Happy Sunday!
XO, Ashton Tilton

Fashion Forward

Shirt>> Target

Necklace>> Mindy Mae's Market (I wait for the sales, which happen often! Follow their insta>> @mindymaesmarket )

Leggings>> Agnes and Dora (Similar)

Shoes>> Forever Young Shoes (Similar)

Reese's Tank>> Target (They're having a buy 1, get 1 50% off sale going on now!)

Reese's Headband>> Notes + Knots 

Since becoming a mom, when I get dressed in the morning, the question that guides my whole outfit is, "How can I be the most comfortable and not look like I just rolled out of bed?"

The answer for me 75% of the time has involved leggings.  I seriously have a hard time wearing jeans anymore, but I do have some favorite, comfy jeans that do the trick if I feel like I've got to mix it up.  Agnes and Dora is my favorite legging shop!  They are a great price, SO comfortable, and really cute patterns.  There's a pattern for everyone!  Trust me, you'll see more leggings in future Fashion Forwards.  

The Target tees are also another go-to for me.  Again, they are very comfortable, and for any mom comfort is where it's at!  They have lots of colors, and even different styles than the one I linked to above.  These tops are a base in a lot of my outfits.  Mixing and matching is crucial for me.  Makes me feel like I've got a new outfit to wear when really I just used what's in my closet to put together something I hadn't tried before.

The Mindy Mae necklace is one of my favs, and something I pair with the most casual outfit to dress it up or use to sparkle up my Sunday best.  

After I had Reese, my days were pretty much the roll out of bed, scrubby, no make-up kind of days.  Understandably for any new mom or mom with a new babe!  Those first couple of months can be hard and are such an adjustment...huge adjustment.  Finally after a whole lot of not feeling very pretty, I decided that I would wake up every morning (and when I say every morning, I mean 50% of the mornings haha), shower, shave my legs, get dressed in something that made me feel confident, do my hair, and put on my makeup.  LET. ME. TELL. YOU.  That routine right there changed the way I mothered.  Yes, you heard me.  It changed the way I was a mom to Reese!  I found myself more ready to tackle the day.  I didn't feel as slouchy or discombobulated as I did on the days where I literally rolled out of bed and dragged my feet to Reese's nursery because it was time to feed her for what felt like the millionth time in a 24-hour period.  It might sound a little vain, but the process of "dolling myself up," as my momma would say, made me feel good on the inside.  That process started me on my way to feeling more capable as a mother, wife, and person.   

Growing up and all through college actually, if I was ever feeling down on myself or feeling like I just couldn't handle whatever was in front of me at the moment, my momma would more often than not tell me something like, "Why don't you go shower, do your hair, and get dressed?  It will be like a fresh start!"  Or she would ask if I'd done my nails lately.  I would tell her no they could use a new paint job, and she would tell me to go do my nails and to use that as a starting place for a clean slate.  Haha, cute right?!  I hold that memory of my mom so dear to my heart because believe it or not, that advise really did help pull me out of some funks and got the ball rolling on me tackling things that seemed hard at the time.  

Don't get me wrong...some days just getting out of bed is a win in and of itself.  We all have those days.  Days where we feel like we are just getting by on the bare minimum.  And that's okay!  Because if you are sitting here reading this blog, then you've obviously made it through those days!  Maybe today is that kind of day.  Whatever kind of day it is, do something for yourself.  Do your nails, take an extra-long shower and use all the hot water, make yourself a refreshing smoothie, get dressed in your favorite outfit, try something new with your hair, take a walk, read a book...and the list goes on and on.  Everyone's different, and everyone has their own "something" that makes them happy.  Find your happy.  Find what makes you smile and enjoy life.  Make more time for it!  You deserve it!

XO, Ashton Tilton

In other news, I picked Reese's nose today.  That was new.  Before I realized what was even happening, it just happened.  I feel like I've earned my title as "Mom" now.

Last but not least, I hate proofreading.  I have since the third grade when they asked you to go back and capitalize all the first letters of new sentences.  Don't hold that against me (insert prayer emoji here).

Budget Bizz

Todd and I are on a strict budget these days.  Even though it's hard for me sometimes, it is also actually really, really, really exciting.  We are on a track to be debt free (I'm up to my nose in school loans) which is something that sometimes seems so far away, I forget that's the end goal.  Sometimes I feel like our money is floating off into some vast void and that I don't really know if the loan is even being cut down in size because we are taking such baby bites out of it.  But then I remember that that's why you make goals.  You can't get immediate gratification when it comes to goals (especially if it involves student loans haha!).  You have to be patient and dedicated.  I think that the day we are debt-free, we will go take a really fun vacation to celebrate.  I haven't talked to Todd about this, but I'm already making plans for it, so it's happening.  

I did talk to Todd though about how I need smaller intervals of rewards though to accomplish this whole debt-free/saving business.  I mean don't get me wrong, that day that we are debt-free will be a glorious reward for all of our pinching and saving, BUT that's pretty far in the future.  And let's be real...I do not have that good of a vision.  Todd is a little different.  He's so dedicated and good with money.  I'm grateful for it, I really am, but sometimes I want him to forget for just a moment that it's important to be good with money.  HA!  It doesn't sound like I'm on board with this "Budget Bizz," but I promise I really am!  

Anyways...about this smaller intervals of rewards thing...I told Todd that I need smaller things to reward myself for keeping to our budget.  Todd wholeheartedly agreed...with a little arm twisting.

Here is my first mini goal...

If I go 6 months to sticking to our budget like a champ, I can reward myself with this beauty...

In our living room, we have a desk that Todd uses for school, and I use for work.  We have a stool right now that we have been using since we got married.  It's a cute stool from Target, but it has seen its last days.  It wasn't really meant to sit in I don't think...more for decoration?  If it was made for sitting, it wasn't meant to last very long or be used very often.  The padding is squished, so now it's like sitting on a brick.  The legs to the stool are extremely wobbly, and I wouldn't be shocked if they popped right off before 6 months even came around (but I promised Todd I wouldn't purposefully harm or destroy the stool just so I had an excuse to cash in on my reward a little sooner than we planned...but maybe I crossed my fingers when I promised).

Anyways...here it is, and I'm salivating.  

I will probably be posting a lot more about our financial goals and budget, in hopes of keeping me on track and trying to improve in an area that I really need to improve on!

Cheers to change and TGIF!!!!  Go Spurs.

Life-long Learning

Nona H. Brown, a frequent contributor to the LDS Relief Society Magazine, wrote... 

“If you are regretting lost opportunities of learning, start learning now. If you are mourning about something you did not accomplish, start working and planning something you can accomplish now. Some of the greatest books have been written, some of the finest paintings painted, some of the most wonderful inventions worked out by people well along in years, or seriously handicapped, or both. Milton was past fifty and blind when he sat down to complete his world famous epic. Benjamin Franklin was past fifty when he started the study of science and philosophy. Michelangelo said, "Yet I am learning," when he was past seventy. He finished the huge painting called the "Last Judgment" in the Sistine Chapel when he was a very old man. He died at eighty-nine. Tennyson wrote his favorite poem, "Crossing the Bar" when he was eighty-one. We can always do something worthwhile, no matter what our age or condition.” (“Look to This Day” by Nona H. Brown)

Dallin H. Oaks (a general authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) taught: “As Latter-day Saints we believe in education, and we have a philosophy about how and why we should pursue it. Our religious faith teaches us that we should seek learning by the spirit and that we have a stewardship to use our knowledge for the benefit of mankind….. An education is not limited to formal study. Lifelong learning can increase our ability to appreciate and relish the workings and beauty of the world around us. This kind of learning goes well beyond books and a selective use of new technology, such as the Internet. It includes artistic endeavors. It also includes experiences with people and places: conversations with friends, visits to museums and concerts, and opportunities for service. We should expand ourselves and enjoy the journey...The acquisition of knowledge is a lifelong, sacred activity, pleasing to our Heavenly Father.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Learning and Latter day Saints,” Ensign, April 2009)

I've been thinking a lot about my dreams lately. What really "feeds my soul".  We talked about dreams and fulfilling our potential in Relief Society this past Sunday at church.  I was really grateful for the lesson.  I had a friend tell me that once she became a mom, she had three personas that she was trying to figure out how to balance.  The "Mom" her, the "Wife" her, and the "Her" her.  I don't know if that makes sense to you, but these days it's making perfect sense to me.  Trying to find the right balance and who I am now as a Mom/Wifey/Ashton is a new realm for me.  It's exciting!  But like navigating anything new, it comes with its ups and downs...and that lesson in church on Sunday really spoke to me!  

I have dreams.  Big dreams.  My children will have dreams.  Big dreams.  I hope they do anyways.  I want them to shoot for the stars without fear of failure.  I want to teach and show my children that their dreams are possible.  Their BIG ones.  That they have so much potential!  If I want them to believe that, I have to be brave and set an example.  Following your dreams can be scary and intimidating!  But I pray that with the guidance of Heavenly Father, I can navigate those dreams of mine.  

Even the big ones.      
Cheers to following your dreams!

XOXO

Silly Thoughts

I had a really wonderful conversation with a friend about not letting ourselves get caught up in keeping up with the Jones'.  We talked about why we do that to ourselves.  Is it a woman thing?  A wife thing?  Just a human thing?  Why do we feel like we have to do and be everything?  We have these unrealistic expectations for ourselves.  That we need to be perfect in every, single aspect of our lives, no table left unturned.  We came to the conclusion that there is no crime in wanting the life we create to be beautiful, as long as it does not consume us and that we remember what matters most. This has been in my heart pretty heavily lately, and I've really been trying to remember what matters most.  I came across a quote in the Pinteresting world that said, "Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that looks good on the outside."  I want to create a life that feels good on the inside.  As I've tried to keep this on the "front burner", I've realized that when I take care of what matters most, which for me is connecting with God, reaching out to others (even in tiny ways), giving Reese all my love and attention during her waking hours, and spending quality time with Buns...when I do those things, I hit the pillow at night a happy woman.  BUT of course there are still duties around the house and at work that need my attention and let's face it, have to get done.  How do I balance everything?  That was my biggest concern after I had Reese...HOW THE "H-E-double hockey sticks" do I get done everything I need and want to get done?  How do women do it?!  I've finally learned that the most effective and realistic way for me to get things done, feel accomplished, and at the same time, not totally lose it at the end of the day, is to set small, attainable goals.  Ones that aren't going to make me feel like a failure if I don't finish.  I decided to say to myself that THIS is the ONE THING I want to accomplish today. If I accomplish THIS ONE THING, then I will be happy with myself at the end of the day.  So far, so good.  Not perfect, but good.  As I put the things that matter most first, everything else really does fall into place, even if that means not everything gets done.  Make sense? 

If it doesn't, there is this blogger I love that really hit the nail on the head for me...

"a few years back, as i was driving home from work, i had a silly thought that suddenly turned straight genius on me. i realized that all i really wanted was for my life to be beautiful. i wanted my home to be beautiful, i wanted my thoughts to be beautiful, i wanted my feelings to be beautiful. i wanted to create beauty in my life. if it was worth doing, i wanted it to be done beautifully. life didn't seem beautiful at the time, but i wanted it to. it was silly and shallow, until suddenly it wasn't. god created for us an insanely beautiful world. beauty around every corner. music, art, science. all beautiful. and loving families, a passion for learning, and a sense that we can have an impact on what surrounds us-- to me, that is beauty. and holy, for sure. so i stopped considering that desire shallow. i started to think of it as a way of honoring god, who is the one who created beauty to begin with, after all." 

via Natalie

I want to do just that...Honor God by creating a life that not only looks good on outside, but by creating a life that feels good on the inside.  I have things I enjoy and am passionate about, and by developing those passions, I am honoring God.  By remembering what matters most, loving my family with all of my heart and all of my time, I am honoring God.
   

Progression

I love the following:

1.  This smile on our happy little princess.

2.  This quote.

3.  This idea.  Buns suggested we try to be more grateful throughout the day.  He tried this and so did I. Let me tell ya...the alarm couldn't have gone off at a more perfect time.  Give it a shot.