But Possible.

Each morning when I get to work, the first thing I check is NieNie's blog.  I have been a follower of her blog for quite some time now, and it is the only blog that I check consistently everyday.  Most other blogs (unless you're my fambam of course!) I've just lost interest in over time.  But I keep coming back to NieNie's because of her honesty, positive disposition, and just all around uplifting words.  She's a mother that has inspired me even before I became a momma.  Heck, even before I got married!  I appreciate what she stands for and the example she sets for millions.  Yes...just ask Buns, she is my hero.  Whenever I want to share some insight that I got from her blog, I feel like I'm constantly prefacing it by being like "So Buns, you know that blogger that I love that got in the plane crash?..."  But after Buns told me that I could just say "So Stephanie wrote..."  Hahaha.  In other words, he knows who the heck that is because I talk about her so much!  If there was one person I could meet before I died, it would be Stephanie Nielson.  Duh.

I went to check out her blog this morning, and read something that hit me like a ton of bricks...

"But mostly I got better because I learned to love myself.

And when I loved myself, I loved my children and others more, and then my desire to serve my children and others was greater, and then I got better.

It's a pretty simple idea, not always so simple to master.

But possible."

via Stephanie Nielson

 

(pictures of Roni's first week that made me get all sappy this morning...can we talk about how little she is just setting there on Buns' shoulder!?)

Words can't even describe how much I needed that quote today.  Not to be a whiner, but yesterday kind of rocked my world in the mothering department.  Reeser has been pretty sick.  Her poor little throat has been swollen and red making it hard to eat.  She's got a raw bum for reasons you can probably imagine, and understandably it's caused lots of tears.  We all know that it's no fun for baby or momma when baby is sick.  Breaks your heart, but let's be real, also takes a toll on ya.  

And when you're exhausted and tired from a long day, sometimes your patience runs thin in other areas...the house, work, church calling, etc... Yesterday I feel like I took my exhaustion out in frustration with that I didn't get the laundry done like I wanted, I didn't finish painting the front room like I wanted, I didn't put in the hours I wanted for work, I didn't send out that important email for my calling.  Soooo yeah.  Basically threw myself a big, fat pity party. #holla

After some QT with Buns and a good sleep though, I woke up this morning ready to make today different than yesterday.  And I woke up to that quote by Stephanie Nielson.  And it made me realize that I have to love myself even on the exhausting days.  I can't be so hard on myself!  Days like that will come around where kids are sick, and the single most important thing is to be at their beckon call.  To love them and snuggle them and assure them the sickness won't last forever.  Days like that involve popsicles for sore throats, Disney movies galore, Sesame Street on repeat, soft voices, snuggles for daaays, and all the love you can kiss and squeeze them with.

So love yourself. Because when you love yourself, you love other more deeply and you have a greater desire to serve them.

Happy Thursday y'all!

♥, Ashton Tilton

A Fabulous Friday Feature

Nanette from Sweet Fringe Benefits:  I am so incredibly excited for my guest blogger today.  This is a woman from my hometown, Franklin, Tennessee.  She is full of faith, honesty, and a powerful love for her family.  On her blog, Sweet Fringe Benefits, you can find refreshing honesty in her day to day.  What I love about her blog is that even though we are at very different stages of life, I am able to find a way to relate to a lot of her experiences.  There is something about a woman who shares the truth about what's in her heart and on her mind.  A woman who doesn't try to be something she's not.  Her writing is real, funny, and touching.  Reading her blog encourages me to find my own Sweet Fringe Benefits each day.  And even if she's 50, she's got killer style.  I've pulled many ideas from her OOTD.

I want this blog to be a place where women of all personalities, styles, and ages come together to find common ground.  A place to feel connected.  A place to be uplifted.  A place to laugh and maybe to cry.  A place to realize that you're not the only one who has weaknesses, and you're certainly not the only one who feels like they don't add up.  We're not perfect, and we're all learning.  We'll be learners our entire lives.  So why not be a little less hard on ourselves and try to find the Sweet Fringe Benefit of each day?  

Sit back and enjoy a little dose of a Nanette.  You won't regret it!    

"I can't wait until I'm 50!" said no one, ever.  I know I certainly didn't.  And yet here I am.  50.  Sweet Fringe Benefits (SFB) are all the good, the sweet, the easier side effects of my age.  And although the "nasties" of 50 abound,  I have spent the last year finding an SFB in any kind of day.  My blog posts are prompted by emotion, daily experiences, music, pictures, flowers, teenage angst, hot flashes, cycling analogies, spiritual ah-ha moments and the list goes on and on.  My posts have gotten me in trouble for being a little too honest at times.  But I've been surprised by the commonality that has been found in my realness...by men and women of any age.  

My niece is a young mom.  I shared with her my concerns of guest blogging for such a young hip crowd.  She encouraged me by saying, "Well, I love it when you talk about when your kids were young because it helps with perspective.  I think that times are crazy and all, and then sometimes you need to stop and realize that it'll all be gone very soon, and I just need to enjoy it all.  Hearing you reflect on that is different than someone telling you to stop and relax and enjoy blah blah."  I get it.  I remember plenty of 50 somethings giving me the same advice.  Ugh.  And I didn't listen.

Enough about my background.  Let's get to the meat of the post...

I have shared many a post about my daughter's involvement in cheerleading.  I've shared her successes and her failures.  I've confessed my middle school emotions of not fitting in with other cheer moms.  I've even admitted to breaking a rule of parenthood...the one about living your life through your children.  Well, here's another one.  

My daughter sprained her ankle 10 days ago tumbling...just when she was landing her standing tuck and making progress.  And she's been in a boot ever since.  I gotta say, I'm tired.  I'm tired of the drama.  Over team sports.  Over peer pressure to succeed.  And of my daughter's self esteem being caught up in whatever tumbling skill she is landing...or not landing.  

I'm going to try to learn from past mistakes here.  I will love every minute watching her on the sideline cheering (even with a boot on), and on the stage competing.  But I'm not going to miss it when it's over.  I do miss the successes, the highs, the wins, the triumphs that I witnessed with my boys on the field.  But I don't miss the nervous stomach on a Friday afternoon wondering if tonight my son would finally  get a chance to play quarterback, or alternatively, if his luck would run out, and he'd get injured.  I miss cheering out loud for my sons, but I don't miss the silent treatment in the house all weekend long after a loss or a botched play.

Today's Sweet Fringe Benefit is a boot.  A boot that's been worn because of Sever's Disease (a growth plate disorder) and many twisted ankles.  A boot that's kept my daughter from achieving goals.  A boot that's helped me see the short term nature of this aspect of her life.  And a boot that teaches my daughter to overcome obstacles.  And in 3 years, that boot will be retired.  I don't think I'll miss that or the pom poms.  I'm just going to enjoy the phase while it lasts...disappointments and all.

See.  Sweet Fringe Benefits can be found in just about anything.  Phases are called such because they don't last.  By definition, a phase is a distinct period in a process of change or forming part of something's development.  Babies are born.  Eventually sleep through the night.  Terrible twos end.  Teenagers become adults.  And 50 year olds find peace with their new normal.

Outfit of the Day:  Merona (Target) black/white geometric blouse, JCrew Factory mint green shorts, Banana Republic white statement necklace, Banana Republic black espadrilles.  The only deception you'll find on my blog is the "selfie" that I take of my Outfit of the Day (OOTD).  It makes me look like a size 4, when really I'm a 12.  The pressure to get dressed each day, get out of my workout gear right when the workout is over has been good for my psyche.  Now that I have a part-time job, getting out of my workout clothes is a requirement.  But the OOTD continues.  

Do I have regrets about not finding the Sweet Fringe Benefits of age 29, 35, or 42?

Nope.  I don't like regrets.  The past is the past.  All I can do is change my attitude today.  Right here, right now...

❤, Nanette

And just for fun, I put together some of my favorite outfits of hers from previous OOTD!  From her statement necklaces to her playful, fun patterns to her popping colors and beautiful neutrals, she's got it goin' on and really knows how to put together an outfit!

Recycled: Love Your Girls

Just because I'm too lazy to write something original today, here is a recycled post of mine from a couple years ago.  A piece of something that I'm passionate about.  Love your girls!  AND HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL.  We made it.

I've been in the process of organizing an "I Am Beautiful" program for groups of girls 15-18 at a local youth detention center revolving around bullying and finding true beauty based off of BYU Woman's Resources' "Recapturing Beauty" launch in 2010.  The whole process has been slow and it took me a while to really put my nose to the grind in doing it.  But after talking with one of my 6th grade girls that I student taught a couple months ago about her battle with bullying, nasty, incessant name-calling, vicious notes passed about her, and feeling that all the horrible things said about her must be true..."Why else wouldn't I have any friends Mrs. Barrett?"  My heart broke in two when she told me that, and I knew I needed to step up to the plate.  For whatever reason, I am pretty dang passionate about all things womanhood, inner beauty, empowerment, and confidence...feeling your self worth and seeing your beauty.   Especially these young girls who NEED to not only see their beauty but discover what beauty really is....especially at such a young age.  That's where it starts.  Bullying is real.  Your own children, teenagers, nieces, nephews, grand-kids, etc...it's a reality for them.  Children need to know they are loved.  They need kind words.  They need to learn to know their self-worth, so if they face bullying, they'll have the confidence to brush it off and stand tall despite what's thrown their way.  Even if your child isn't the victim of bullying, they see it.  They know what it looks like.  Teach them what it looks like.  Teach them to stand up for those who are mistreated.  Teach them to be kind.  Show them their worth by using kind, encouraging, and constructive words.  Hold high expectations for them, but don't expect perfection. Expect them to recognize their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and strive to do better in the future because they can. Make sure they know that you know, they can succeed.  

Bottom line...love them. Love them for who they are.  Love them unconditionally.

The following video is a poem by Shane Koyczan, a victim of bullying.  Stumbled across this and loved it.  I was taken back at first by some intense parts, but I love the message he is sending about beauty.

"...because they see her heart before her skin."

“  … and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.”

Support. Empower. Connect.

XOXO

Relating to this topic is a really wonderful article by fitvillians...Talk about a powerhouse of womanhood.
Please read, worth your time.

"When kids are younger — especially before they’re consuming tons of media and have friends — they get almost all of their behavioral cues from their parents. If their parents think it’s okay to call people names, then they’ll think it’s okay to call people names. If their mom hates her body, they can learn to hate their bodies, too. 

If you want kids to learn that all people are equal and good, it requires vigilance. You can’t change the world around you — and you can’t always protect them — but you can explain to them that everyone’s equal, and you can say it again and again.This goes double for disparaging your own body in front of your children. 

My mom always struggled with what she perceived to be fatness, and therefore was always on a diet. I don’t know how many disparaging comments I’ve heard her say about herself in my life, but if I had a dollar for every one, I could probably pay for my enormous amounts of therapy. 

It’s hard enough to be a woman in our sexist culture, and the greatest gift we can give our girls is confidence in themselves — and that includes their bodies. As a parent, you’re competing with a plethora of outside influences — TV, advertising, friends, bullies, teachers — for your child’s attention. Inevitably, we’re all screwing up the kids around us — don’t worry, we’re teaching them good lessons, too! — but this is one thing that’s so freaking important. 

A girl’s sense of self is everything."

California: Zuma Beach

The beach. Words can't even describe how amazing it was to be back at the beach.  My parents and brother Todd drove from Tennessee to Virginia Beach this summer, and I had wished so badly we could have made it.  They sent some pictures from the beach, and my heart ached for my family and the beach.  I've really missed them this summer, and it sounds a little silly but visiting the beach in California made me feel close to them.  We went to the beach all the time growing up.  I grew up in Virginia until high school, and we always went to Virginia Beach.  We just hung out there all day everyday.  It was glorious.  Gosh, I'm getting all teary-eyed even writing about it.  We would bring our beach chairs up to the edge of where the ocean and beach met and would let the waves crash on our toes.  I remember being amazed at what the salt water did to the sand as it receded back into the ocean, leaving imprints in the wet sand.  My mom always says that two of God's greatest creations are the sand and sea.    

I remember throwing a football with my dad and brothers.  We would make runs and play defense on each other trying to swat the football out of each others hands or make a sweet interception.  The beach will always remind me of my parents.  I miss them.  Then we would walk up the boardwalk.  Walk and walk and walk.  I loved it.  We'd pop in on some shops and look at all the funny souvenirs.  And we'd always wrap it up with some ice cream.  Dad wouldn't have it any other way.  I attribute my love for ice cream to my dad.  

When we went to Zuma Beach in California with my sister-in-law Heidi and her family, needless to say, I thought of my own family.  A lot.  I missed them so badly but had a blast with Heidi, Ben, and their beautiful family.  Plus it was fun to create some new memories with my own little family.  

There's a picture of my dad with me as a little baby at the edge of the beach.  He's holding my hand and pointing out to the ocean.  In the photo, my head is just as bald as Reese's is now.  I thought of that picture, as I watched Todd carry Reese into the water and walk down the shore with her in tow.  It was really sweet to see.  I love my family.  I can't even describe how much I love to spend time with them and be with them.  Nothing brings me more joy than watching my baby girl and her daddy spend time together.  Todd was really cute with Reese, and it was fun for both of us to experience the beach with her.  Her very first beach visit!  And many more to come.  

Aside from my own family, we were in great company.  I couldn't have asked for more relaxing days at the beach with great people.  Ben and Heidi are hilarious, kind, and so easy to talk to.  I felt a bit of a connection to them as they busted out some speakers and a little John Mayer.  Oh how I love me some John Mayer.

Elsie, Teddy, and Maddie were really fun to watch too.  They play so well together and each have their own unique personality.  It made me so excited to see how our family will grow over time and how our kids will come into their own.  How they will grow and how their personalities will start to shine through.  I can't wait!

Everyday at the beach, Reese loved it!  Not one complaint.  She was soaking up the rays, playing with her toys, and eating sand.  When it was time for naps we walked her up the beach in the ergo carrier and she was OUT.  Once we came back though, we tried to put her to sleep in the pack n play under an umbrella on the beach, but she couldn't quite get to sleep again with all the excitement going on around her.  But we just left her in there to play with her toys, and she was happy as a clam.  Love our little girl.  She seriously was happy as can be.  She was constantly smiling and just happy to be there!  It made it such an enjoyable time, and we were grateful!  We were a little worried about being at the beach all day because of naps, but she was a champ. 

Man, just talking about it, makes me wanna pack up camp and head back to the beach for good.  Maybe one day!  

Hope y'all have a great day, and find time to enjoy the little things around you.  I'm trying to do that more lately.  Trying to make my days more meaningful and spend more quality time with the people I love.  

Happy Wednesday Y'all!

XO, Ashton Tilton

Dreams for my Baby girl on her Sweet 16

It was my sweet niece's sweet 16 today.  She's such a doll and love her to pieces.  I can't believe how much it made me think about the day my own sweet, baby girl will turn 16.  I thought about what she'll look like, what she'll love, and whether or not we'll be the best of friends.

Mostly I thought about what I hope for my baby girl to remember on that special day.  16 is a very special year.  It's a birthday that makes a girl feel grown up, but not too grown up to be on their own quite yet.  It's a milestone.  It's a year of learning more about who you are and what you want.  It's a year that usually involves some heartache and disappointment.  Whether with friends or a boy.  It's a year where you might really start to think about the future and maybe recognize that being a grown-up really isn't that far away.  Or maybe it's the year you really come into your own.  You blossom.  You figure out that you are special no matter what anybody else says.  

Today I've thought about myself at 16.  I've thought about the growth, the mistakes, the self-discovery.  I've thought about my beautiful, little girl.  What will the world be like when she's 16?  What growth, mistakes, and self-discovery will she go through?  I thought about how I hope she always knows I'm her biggest fan and constant cheerleader.  That I love her no matter what.  Then I thought about what I hope for my Roni on the morning of that Sweet 16.  And let's just say, the tears were not far and in between.  My sister-in-law says that being a mother has softened her heart...Today, I feel that softened heart.  Because mine has been softened too.

Here are my wishes for you Reese on that big day.  I hope they all come true, but if they don't, it doesn't matter.  Because it's your journey, and I know whatever happens it will be beautiful.  

I hope you are happy.  I pray that you wake up on your 16th with a love for life.  That you are excited for what the day has in store, and that you seize every opportunity to be amazing.  Because you are. 

I pray that you know how much your family loves you.  You don't have siblings as I'm writing this, but I hope you have younger siblings on your Sweet 16.  I hope you can see how much they adore you and look up to you.  I hope you see through the fights and annoying things they do.  Because when it all comes down to it, they will be yours to watch over forever.  You will always be a big sister, and that is something to be proud of.  It is your calling.  God sent you first for a reason, and I'm so glad He did.  

Even more than your siblings though, I hope you have embedded in your heart how much your parents love you.  Unconditionally.  Wherever you are on your journey, we are right behind you, supporting you and loving you.  If you fall, we might not always be able to pick you up even though we wish we could, but we are right beside you with a helping hand and a listening ear at the ready.  

I hope you have a strong sense of who you are.  Your divinity.  Your beauty.  Inside and out.  You have a purpose.  You are on this earth for a reason.  Even if that reason is unknown to you right now, I promise that as you trust in yourself and God that you will discover that purpose and life will unfold exactly as it should.  Others will try to bring you down.  Try to make you feel that you have no worth.  Don't let the world crush your spirit.  Be beautiful and inspiring because that's who you are.  Find the strength inside to overcome the negativity that might seem unbearable.  

I pray that on your Sweet 16 you've discovered the importance of kindness and to treat others with respect and love.  I hope your heart is filled with compassion for all of God's children.  I hope you find friends that feel this way too.  Find friends that encourage you to be the best you and that love you no matter what.  Don't burden yourself with drama.  It's not worth your time or energy.  Be a light to those around you because that's what will naturally draw people to you.  The kind you want to be drawn to you.  

My biggest dream for you though is to blossom into the beautiful woman you are becoming.  Embrace who you are and don't be afraid to stand out!  

I love you baby girl and want to be happy.  Never forget that.

Happy Sweet Sixteen Roni.  

Love, Your Momma

Dear Reese

Dear Reese, 

Sometimes I like to sneak in on you while you sleep.  You're so peaceful while you sleep.  When I peak over your crib, I think about how big you've gotten.  How when you first laid in this crib, you were 9 inches shorter and 14 pounds lighter.  You have a personality now.  You laugh, you recognize my voice, and you make sounds like "mamama" or "bababa".  To think that in another six months you could be walking and even bigger is crazy.  So crazy.  I can't wait to hear what your voice sounds like and how your personality will emerge even more.  And your hair.  What will that look like?  So weird to think about you with hair.  

I just hope you know I love you and always will.  You make my life beautiful.  When God told you that I was going to be your mom, thanks for coming anyways!  Haha.

Love you Roni.

XO, Momma

Fourth of July Fireworks

Y'ALL. 

Fourth of July rocked.  

Todd didn't have work at the physical therapy clinic in the morning which was SWEET (insert thumbs up and party popper emoji here...you'd be surprised how often my mind thinks in emojis now haha, it's pathetic).  So we started off with breakfast at Bill and Hawley's house with Bill's side of the family.  After hanging out there, we went back home and gave Reese the nap of the century.  We were outside for the breakfast, and holy hannah, Utah is HOT in July!  I think all that sunshine wore Reese out but in the best way possible!

After that, Todd had work at the MTC, so Reese and I went to the pool.  Reese LOVES the water, and I love the pool.  Win, win for us both.  She just sits there and splashes the water with her hands.  It was so hot out for the fourth, so the pool felt amazing.  Reese loves people watching too.  She always seems to catch people's eyes, and they either come up and make a comment about her delicious cheeks or that she doesn't eat enough (sarcasm dripping from their pores).  I'm kind of having to fake laugh these days at that one haha, I hear it atleast five times a day.  At the pool, we hung out with my freshman year bestie, Courtney and her family.  Let me tell ya...they don't come like the Honkas.  Had a blast hanging out and spending time with them while they were in town.  Love that family...really good, down-to-earth people. 

After the pool, Todd got home from work, and it was off to Stadium of Fiyahhhh!  I couldn't have been more excited about Stadium of Fire because first of all I'd never been before, and secondly, (drumroll please)...

CARRIE UNDERWOOD WAS THE PERFORMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, the woman who has sung just about every life anthem I've had at every stage of my teenage, college, and brief mom years, was singing at the Stadium of Fire I got to go to.  EPIC PEOPLE!  We were with Todd's family for the show, so I was trying to keep my ecstatic, fan-faring self to a minimum, as not to startle or freak anyone out haha.  But when we got there, I kept leaning over in Todd's ears squealing, "oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh".  There was a lot of arm squeezing.  

When Carrie finally took the stage, I was so emotional! Ha!  I got a little choked up when she came out, and THEN...she sang one of my favorite, "See You Again".  When the music for the song started up, without any notice, the tears just started FLOWING.  I would have never thought in a million years I would have reacted that way, but I sure as heck did!  It's crazy the kind of emotions we associate with certain songs, and how just by listening to them, they can bring back a certain time in your life and the feelings associated with that time.  I was reminded of how powerful music is to me.  I feel like since I've become a mom, I haven't enjoyed music as much as I used to, and that's just NOT COOL.  I want Reese to enjoy and love music just as much as I do, even if it's different kinds of music.  There is music for everyone, and it touches everyone in such different, very personal ways.  

Then...she sang "Jesus Took the Wheel," and ladies and gents...I was sobbing hysterically.  I was such a hot mess!  That song means so much to me for so many reasons, but one of them is that after my friend from high school, Elizabeth ("E"), died, her mom often posted on facebook about that song.  So naturally, every time I heard it, it took on a new meaning for me and reminded me of "E".  Aside from that, it was a song that I listened to often throughout my life when I felt like throwing my hands in the air and literally being like, "God, take control of my life, because I don't know where to go from here".  Needless to say, that song is a charged song for me, and as a little embarrassed as I was, I was grateful I got to experience those emotions again because it reminded me that things always come full circle!  No matter what you're going through, I promise it is for just a season!  God is on your side.  He is your champion, your confidant, your cheerleader.

After Carrie Underwood, the fireworks began and were fun to watch.  I had never been so close to fireworks before, and it was awesome (and freakin' hot).  Todd was adorable and put ear-plugs in to soften the sound for his poor little ears haha.  

I really enjoyed spending the night with Todd/Buns.  Dates are such a catharsis.  Before we left for the show, my niece, Macy, didn't want her dad to go.  As my brother-in-law Troy gave Macy a big squeeze, he said, "But mommy and daddy have to go on dates together, so they don't hate each other and get a divorce."  He was being funny, but let's be real...that statement is SO TRUE.   Dates with Todd are SO important to me.  I seriously can tell the difference between us when it's been too long that we've been on a date with each other, just me and him.  Dates are underrated, and I can promise you that for my sanity, we will be going on them consistently for the rest of our lives.  

Bottom line, I really enjoyed this Fourth of July.  I'm so grateful for this country we live in and the freedoms we enjoy.  Because of the people that fought for those freedoms, I enjoy the beautiful life I live with the beautiful people that are in it.  

Cheers to another year of independence America! 

Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, oh my!

The past few weeks have been some seriously wonderful weeks.  For Paige's wedding, most all of my family was in town for the week before and the week after.  Hunter is on his mish, and Jefferson and their kids couldn't make it, but Courtney flew all the way from Japan to be there!  I can't tell you how good it was for all of us to be together.  I hope it happens more often.  My mom and dad stayed for the week after the wedding too, and it was so nice to have them spend time with Reese.  They obviously don't get to see her as much, but I feel like it makes that time we do have together all that more meaningful.

Right now, we are in Park City spending time with Todd's family, and it couldn't be a more relaxing and enjoyable trip.  One of my favorite parts has been seeing all of Reese's little girl cousins interacting with Roni (even if sometimes she freaks out when her bubble is invaded hahaha).  

And then there's the in-laws.  Basically, they're great, and I can genuinely say I enjoy spending time with all of them.  They are freakin' hilarious, and I love when we all get together.  Missing Tay and Nat, but maybe if we keep pinchin pennies, we'll get our booties to the Carribean! 

Bottom line...family means the world to me.  There is nothing more valuable or important to me than my family and the time spent with them.  

I hope my kids will always have loving, close relationships with all their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.  They offer a love to Reese that I could never offer.  It's a different kind of love.  Very special relationships.  And I hope Reese grows to cherish those relationships as much as I do.  I want her to always know that even when she's ticked at me in the future or feels lonely or feels like she's not good enough (because I am remember those times all too well growing up!), she is cherished and adored by her extended family and can always rely on them.

I feel very lucky to have such close-knit families on both mine and Todd's sides.  I truly admire every person and couldn't have handpicked more perfect people to call family.

Reese today.  We love our girl!

When Buns Became a Dad {circa 2013}

The man of my dreams celebrated his first Father's Day this past Sunday.

He's a dad!  He's a dad.  HE'S A DAD.  "So crazy."  That's always been his response when people make a comment along the lines of, "TODD...you're a DAD."  Haha.  Half of me totally agrees, but the other half of me knows it's not all that crazy...not crazy at all. 

I can't even express all the freaking emotions that overcome me when I look at the two pictures below.

In the first pic, I remember sitting on the hospital bed, having just gotten my water broken and my epidural, looking at Todd with so much love it consumed me.  Everything about him.  I remember adoring him in the first picture.  I was so excited that our baby girl was coming, but I was also really nervous.  I couldn't believe I was going to be a mom, and Todd was going to be a dad.  There a little sadness because it would never be just him and I again.  It would always be Todd, me, Reese, and any other kiddos to come.  I was feeling happiness, sadness, consuming love, nervousness, and gratitude.

Then...the second pic.

This was right after Reese had entered the world, they had washed her up, and we did a little skin-to-skin action.  Is your heart melting?  Because mine is.  I was looking for pictures to post from the day Todd became a daddy, and when I found these two, I happened to check the time that both of the pictures were taken, and can you believe it?? Exactly 24 hours apart!

24 hours.  

Man that was a crazy 24 hours. 

In the second pic, I remember sitting on the hospital bed, having just given birth to our baby girl and entering the realm of mommyhood, looking at Todd and Reese with an even greater love than I had in the first picture.  My heart was leaping out of my chest.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude for that man.  Even more so than Reese to be completely honest!  Is that horrible?  I remember being more focused on Todd than on Reese in this picture.  Looking at him and knowing he was my best friend.  That he would be my best friend forever.  That we would raise Reese together.  And in that moment the sadness I felt before of it never being just him and I again wasn't so sad anymore.  Because I would always have him...plus some really awesome additions.

  

Todd gives me a hard time because I'm such an annoying photographer sometimes.  But it's because I want to be able to look back on special moments and feel what I felt over and over again for the rest of my life!  Every time I look at these pictures, I will be able to see through my eyes on that day, December 19, 2013, the day Todd became a dad and I became a mom, over and over again for the rest of our lives.  

Boom baby.

    

Family Night: Temple Edition

Todd and I have been trying to make an effort to put more thought into our family nights as opposed to winging it at 10:59pm (when we try to go to bed around 11) or forgetting it altogether.  So this past Monday Todd and I had a family night about temples.  We went through this article together from the LDS Newsroom entitled Mormonism in Pictures:  The Beauty and Purpose of Mormon Temples.  If you're looking to learn more about Mormon temples and what they're all about, this is a really great article to read.  Apparently the LDS Newsroom does these Mormonism in Pictures every once in a while that features pictures depicting the Church and its members around the world.  Very cool.  

I love how the article says, "In Mormon temples, Latter-day Saints learn about Jesus Christ, the purpose of life and the importance of marriage and family," and then goes on to say, "The Mormon temple is a place where the most cherished human relationships are made eternal. Mormon couples are joined together in marriage in a temple ceremony called a sealing. Church members believe this bond unites the couple and any children they have together forever."

As Todd, Reese, and I walked around the Provo temple on Monday night, of course we talked about all sorts of "remember whens"...

Remember when we sat on the hill at the top of the temple grounds and decided that we wanted to get married in this temple?

Remember when we use to run around the temple the summer we dated? (And KILL my legs in the process...yeah I remember that alright.)

Remember when this was basically where it all went down?  (I lived a few blocks away from the temple when we were dating and engaged, and Todd's home is just up the road too.)  

Remember when we got sealed in this temple to each other for freakin' time and all eternity?  (Yeah...that was pretty cool.)  

Remember when we walked out of the doors of the temple as husband and wife?  (Hallelujah, praise the high heavens!!! We made it!!)

After we went through every "remember when" we could think of and finally headed home 'cause Roni was about to have a meltdown...we got home, put her to bed, and watched the season finale of Parenthood Season 5.

Then we crawled into bed and recapped the day.  We decided it had been a pretty wonderful day, and we agreed we should really try to keep up this whole "purposeful family night" thing because it really was one killer night.

5 months

Stoooooooop grooowwiiiinnnnggggggggg Roni.  NOW.

I had an episode yesterday.  A fit.  A little ride on the Emotional Rollercoaster of Life.  Time was going by too fast, and I didn't like it one bit.  I told Roni point blank that she was to stay this little forever.  And then I had a Taylor Swift, "Never Grow Up" montage running through my head.  And I cried.  Hahahaha.  I cried, Todd laughed, I cried some more, Todd laughed, I laugh-cried, and then we were both laughing uncontrollably.  Todd got me some tissues, we put her to bed, watched Parenthood, and all was right with the world again.  

Reese is a little bundle of squishy joy.  Her cheeks tempt me everyday.  I want to gobble them right up.  She's teething right now though, so sometimes I want to gobble her all up and have a break.  But then she smiles that toothless (not for long!) smile, and I can't be mad.  Teething must be horrible.  Sharp teeth breaking through your gum, tearing apart what once was a comfortable mouth of gums.  Yikes.  I would whine and cry hysterically too.  She's probably handling it much better than I would.

Reese makes me a better person I'd like to think.  She teaches me everyday what's important.  Reese makes Todd a better person, I'd like to think...I know.  Watching Todd become a veteran-ed, more-experienced father with every passing day, makes me weak in the knees.  Except for when he forgets to do the dishes.  Or when he wins rock-paper-scissors-shoot meaning I have to put Reese to bed.  Or when he leaves his drawers open, and I bust my shin open on the da%* things.  But I love him, I really do.

Here's Roni's 5 month update via Insta 'cause I'm too lazy to come up with cutesie things to say twice...

"5 months and goin' strong!  This chick is all about her tummy time...not.  But she is getting better at it!  Rolls over now and does superman action on her belly.  We gave her rice cereal and she's...allergic.  Or so they tell us...***Why am I so skeptical of doctors?***(I just inserted this and recognized sometimes I really do wonder if docs know what the H they're talking about.  I don't know why I feel this way, I really don't haha)...She broke out majorly.  But ate it like a champ!  She's teething and her two bottoms have broken the gums.  She's trying to figure out the whole nap thing, some days are better than others, but I suppose that's how mommyhood rolls!  Dad loves her chunky legs, contagious smiles, and her snuggles.  She's our smiley, happy hoodrat, and we love her to pieces."

Reese in her triumphantly terrific 4th month of life...