Sap City Series {Daddy-daughter Edition}

I was looking through pictures from our summer in South Carolina, and these are two of my favorites.  Todd and Reese have such a special relationship.  I feel like I say that all the time, but they really do.  As my baby girl gets older and older each day, I realize how precious moments like these are.  I'm feeling pretty sappy right now, so if you can't tell this is going to be a sappy post, SO...brace yourself.  

Today was General Conference for our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I heard inspiring words from some of my favorite people.  The leaders of my church.  They spoke things to my heart that meant so much to me I can hardly figure out how to put it into words.  So for the sake of self-preservation haha, I'm not going to even try.  But I will say that at the end of those meetings (even if I feel asleep here and there lol), I left inspired.  I left feeling ready to conquer the world.  I left feeling peace.  Such overwhelming peace.  A peace that I've been seeking for a little while now.  Life has just been going so fast.  Too fast.  My baby girl will be two in December.  My baby boy is almost 4 months.  Time is flying.  I found myself aching for my baby Reese today.  My 4 month old little Reese.  Wanting to hold her and rock her until she fell asleep in my arms. 

My children and husband are my world.  I have so much love for them.  Children are such angelic little humans.  Don't get me wrong, Reese throws tantrums like the best of them and Riggs fights sleeps like a pro, but they truly are freaking sweethearts.  I love them.  And I'm so lucky to be their momma.

In one of the talks today, it was said that..."Right now is eternity," (Dieter F. Uchtdorf).

I've been thinking about that phrase all day today....right now is my eternity.  Today I felt that.  I really felt that.  I hope I remember how today felt when the days are really hard.  On the days that I can barely function because I'm so sleep deprived.  On the days that Todd really gets under my skin.  Because we're not perfect, and sometimes we get on each other's nerves.  On the days that Rigg's explodes through FOUR outfits in less than an hour.  True story y'all.  On the days that Reese has a million meltdowns because she can't find the words to express what she wants, and I can't read her mind.  On all those types of days, I hope that at the end of them, I can find it in myself to remember to see blessings instead of burdens.  

I hope y'all have had a great Saturday and have an even better Sunday.

XO,Me

#sapcityseries

On What You Say To Your Children

The Tongue of Angels: "We must be so careful in speaking to a child.  What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself.  But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God.  Be constructive in your comments to a child...always.  Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely.  You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget...and to forgive.  And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it.  You may say most positively that 'Susan is pretty, and Sandra is bright,' but all Susan will remember is that she isn't bright, and Sandra that she isn't pretty.  Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'" (Jeffrey R. Holland)

Click here to read more.

A Beautiful Story

Family Night: Temple Edition

Todd and I have been trying to make an effort to put more thought into our family nights as opposed to winging it at 10:59pm (when we try to go to bed around 11) or forgetting it altogether.  So this past Monday Todd and I had a family night about temples.  We went through this article together from the LDS Newsroom entitled Mormonism in Pictures:  The Beauty and Purpose of Mormon Temples.  If you're looking to learn more about Mormon temples and what they're all about, this is a really great article to read.  Apparently the LDS Newsroom does these Mormonism in Pictures every once in a while that features pictures depicting the Church and its members around the world.  Very cool.  

I love how the article says, "In Mormon temples, Latter-day Saints learn about Jesus Christ, the purpose of life and the importance of marriage and family," and then goes on to say, "The Mormon temple is a place where the most cherished human relationships are made eternal. Mormon couples are joined together in marriage in a temple ceremony called a sealing. Church members believe this bond unites the couple and any children they have together forever."

As Todd, Reese, and I walked around the Provo temple on Monday night, of course we talked about all sorts of "remember whens"...

Remember when we sat on the hill at the top of the temple grounds and decided that we wanted to get married in this temple?

Remember when we use to run around the temple the summer we dated? (And KILL my legs in the process...yeah I remember that alright.)

Remember when this was basically where it all went down?  (I lived a few blocks away from the temple when we were dating and engaged, and Todd's home is just up the road too.)  

Remember when we got sealed in this temple to each other for freakin' time and all eternity?  (Yeah...that was pretty cool.)  

Remember when we walked out of the doors of the temple as husband and wife?  (Hallelujah, praise the high heavens!!! We made it!!)

After we went through every "remember when" we could think of and finally headed home 'cause Roni was about to have a meltdown...we got home, put her to bed, and watched the season finale of Parenthood Season 5.

Then we crawled into bed and recapped the day.  We decided it had been a pretty wonderful day, and we agreed we should really try to keep up this whole "purposeful family night" thing because it really was one killer night.

Life-long Learning

Nona H. Brown, a frequent contributor to the LDS Relief Society Magazine, wrote... 

“If you are regretting lost opportunities of learning, start learning now. If you are mourning about something you did not accomplish, start working and planning something you can accomplish now. Some of the greatest books have been written, some of the finest paintings painted, some of the most wonderful inventions worked out by people well along in years, or seriously handicapped, or both. Milton was past fifty and blind when he sat down to complete his world famous epic. Benjamin Franklin was past fifty when he started the study of science and philosophy. Michelangelo said, "Yet I am learning," when he was past seventy. He finished the huge painting called the "Last Judgment" in the Sistine Chapel when he was a very old man. He died at eighty-nine. Tennyson wrote his favorite poem, "Crossing the Bar" when he was eighty-one. We can always do something worthwhile, no matter what our age or condition.” (“Look to This Day” by Nona H. Brown)

Dallin H. Oaks (a general authority of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) taught: “As Latter-day Saints we believe in education, and we have a philosophy about how and why we should pursue it. Our religious faith teaches us that we should seek learning by the spirit and that we have a stewardship to use our knowledge for the benefit of mankind….. An education is not limited to formal study. Lifelong learning can increase our ability to appreciate and relish the workings and beauty of the world around us. This kind of learning goes well beyond books and a selective use of new technology, such as the Internet. It includes artistic endeavors. It also includes experiences with people and places: conversations with friends, visits to museums and concerts, and opportunities for service. We should expand ourselves and enjoy the journey...The acquisition of knowledge is a lifelong, sacred activity, pleasing to our Heavenly Father.” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks, “Learning and Latter day Saints,” Ensign, April 2009)

I've been thinking a lot about my dreams lately. What really "feeds my soul".  We talked about dreams and fulfilling our potential in Relief Society this past Sunday at church.  I was really grateful for the lesson.  I had a friend tell me that once she became a mom, she had three personas that she was trying to figure out how to balance.  The "Mom" her, the "Wife" her, and the "Her" her.  I don't know if that makes sense to you, but these days it's making perfect sense to me.  Trying to find the right balance and who I am now as a Mom/Wifey/Ashton is a new realm for me.  It's exciting!  But like navigating anything new, it comes with its ups and downs...and that lesson in church on Sunday really spoke to me!  

I have dreams.  Big dreams.  My children will have dreams.  Big dreams.  I hope they do anyways.  I want them to shoot for the stars without fear of failure.  I want to teach and show my children that their dreams are possible.  Their BIG ones.  That they have so much potential!  If I want them to believe that, I have to be brave and set an example.  Following your dreams can be scary and intimidating!  But I pray that with the guidance of Heavenly Father, I can navigate those dreams of mine.  

Even the big ones.      
Cheers to following your dreams!

XOXO

Silly Thoughts

I had a really wonderful conversation with a friend about not letting ourselves get caught up in keeping up with the Jones'.  We talked about why we do that to ourselves.  Is it a woman thing?  A wife thing?  Just a human thing?  Why do we feel like we have to do and be everything?  We have these unrealistic expectations for ourselves.  That we need to be perfect in every, single aspect of our lives, no table left unturned.  We came to the conclusion that there is no crime in wanting the life we create to be beautiful, as long as it does not consume us and that we remember what matters most. This has been in my heart pretty heavily lately, and I've really been trying to remember what matters most.  I came across a quote in the Pinteresting world that said, "Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that looks good on the outside."  I want to create a life that feels good on the inside.  As I've tried to keep this on the "front burner", I've realized that when I take care of what matters most, which for me is connecting with God, reaching out to others (even in tiny ways), giving Reese all my love and attention during her waking hours, and spending quality time with Buns...when I do those things, I hit the pillow at night a happy woman.  BUT of course there are still duties around the house and at work that need my attention and let's face it, have to get done.  How do I balance everything?  That was my biggest concern after I had Reese...HOW THE "H-E-double hockey sticks" do I get done everything I need and want to get done?  How do women do it?!  I've finally learned that the most effective and realistic way for me to get things done, feel accomplished, and at the same time, not totally lose it at the end of the day, is to set small, attainable goals.  Ones that aren't going to make me feel like a failure if I don't finish.  I decided to say to myself that THIS is the ONE THING I want to accomplish today. If I accomplish THIS ONE THING, then I will be happy with myself at the end of the day.  So far, so good.  Not perfect, but good.  As I put the things that matter most first, everything else really does fall into place, even if that means not everything gets done.  Make sense? 

If it doesn't, there is this blogger I love that really hit the nail on the head for me...

"a few years back, as i was driving home from work, i had a silly thought that suddenly turned straight genius on me. i realized that all i really wanted was for my life to be beautiful. i wanted my home to be beautiful, i wanted my thoughts to be beautiful, i wanted my feelings to be beautiful. i wanted to create beauty in my life. if it was worth doing, i wanted it to be done beautifully. life didn't seem beautiful at the time, but i wanted it to. it was silly and shallow, until suddenly it wasn't. god created for us an insanely beautiful world. beauty around every corner. music, art, science. all beautiful. and loving families, a passion for learning, and a sense that we can have an impact on what surrounds us-- to me, that is beauty. and holy, for sure. so i stopped considering that desire shallow. i started to think of it as a way of honoring god, who is the one who created beauty to begin with, after all." 

via Natalie

I want to do just that...Honor God by creating a life that not only looks good on outside, but by creating a life that feels good on the inside.  I have things I enjoy and am passionate about, and by developing those passions, I am honoring God.  By remembering what matters most, loving my family with all of my heart and all of my time, I am honoring God.
   

Building Foundations for Confidence

I would be lying if I didn't admit to the fact that I love reading about women's issues.  There's a lot of negativity that floats around feminism and empowering women, but daggone it, there is just as much positivity and uplifting media out there too! Those are the messages I love to read...the ones that uplift and make me proud to be who I am: a Daughter of God. I came across an article today on the BYU Women's Services blog, called "Building Foundations for Confidence," that did just that...uplifted. I was "amen"ing the whole entire article! I couldn't agree more with what was said. I highlighted some of my favorite parts. Check out their blog...they always have uplifting messages or reminders that can really help a sister out! Cheers to being a woman!

Building Foundations for Confidence:

"As much as we may criticize the appearance-based value system of today's society, we should also take care not to retreat to the other end of the spectrum.

I've heard people say that we should never praise little girls for being cute or stylish. They say that focusing on looks rather than other, more important character traits reinforces society's shallow standards. Thus, we should only compliment their creativity, their wit, etc.

I agree, of course, that a young girl should know she has more to offer the world than a pretty face. But a very real danger also lies in never telling her that she does have a pretty face. Or a nice figure. Or healthy hair.

We are daughters (and sons) of a Heavenly Father. We are made in His image. He has a literal body and He has graciously decided to give us stewardship over our own amazing bodies. It's perfectly appropriate to appreciate the beauty endowed in each of us; we just need to be sure to recognize that beauty comes in many forms and that physical beauty is only one admirable aspect of a human being.

I have three gorgeous nieces. They are spunky, creative, and curious. They are intelligent and funny. They are loving. Yet they are also truly beautiful children, each for various reasons, whether it's bright eyes or curly hair or freckled skin. I tell them constantly that I love them for their creative and fun personalities, but I also remind them often of their physical beauty.

In high school, my parents praised me for my intelligence, academic prowess, and hard work. They also praised me for my big smile, my healthy hair, and my daring fashion sense. I had friends whose parents did not compliment their looks. They felt inadequate and insecure. While I certainly had moments of insecurity about my appearance, I could always look back and treasure my parents' kind words about it. I had a foundation for confidence which my peers sometimes lacked. That's why I tell my nieces they have pretty hair or cute freckles; I want them to have that foundation as well. 

We all want to be pretty. I know that's a bold statement, but I hold it to be true. It may not be a top priority, and it shouldn't be, but deep down we all love it when we receive a compliment on our appearance. Going through life believing that you are unattractive is painful. It causes problems like eating disorders and a lack of self-worth. You might say that putting an emphasis on appearances causes these problems. Think about it, though. If you tell a girl she's beautiful, if you let her know that others appreciate her looks, will she feel the compulsion to mutilate her body? Probably not! She will most likely feel a greater desire to take care of it and cultivate a healthy lifestyle.

Let's all be more careful about how we talk to young people, as well as our peers. Let's remember to mingle praise of personality traits with praise of physical appearance. Remember that God sees beauty in us all and that He wants us to recognize that same beauty in others. Neglecting to do so can stir up the same, or even greater, problems than those caused by focusing only on physical appearances."

What I Believe

I thought this was an interesting article and answers a lot of questions about Mormons! Follow the link at the end to read the article.

via Mormon Newsroom

Click here to read about the core beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Mormons 101.

Believe it or not, this was an accidental snapshot en route to getting a perfectly-posed smiling snapshot, but I like this one better. We were at the elementary school down the street tossing a pigskin in between conference sessions. 

Conference weekend couldn't have been better.  Great talks, great men (general authorities and Buns), and great food.  I discovered this weekend, as I was listening to the healing, happy, and hopeful words of the leaders of our church, the exact reasons why I am so happy. Buns and I are truly blessed. I certainly wouldn't categorize our life as hard, but it's not all peaches and cream either.  Right now we're juggling school, work, finances, and being newlyweds. We struggle with a lot of the same trials I'm sure that other newlyweds face. We are not only the Barretts, but we are Ashton and Todd.  We are individuals, each a daughter and son of our Father in Heaven, who comes with our own sets of strengths and weaknesses. We are both so very aware of that.  We know that we're not perfect, and we know we're not exempt from hard things.  Knowing that though, WHY AREN'T WE UNHAPPY?  If we are so painstakingly aware of our shortcomings and the ever so present challenges that come our way, why aren't we sulking, depressed, or overwhelmed? (Who am I kidding, sometimes we are definitely overwhelmed! lol) We have our moments, but we pillow-talked this weekend about life as husband and wife, and  we came to the same unanimous conclusion...we are so happy! And that was even after discussing finances! Haha.  

So back to the why and the how...how can we be so happy?  Let me tell you what's up...

We have faith in a Heavenly Father who we know loves us unconditionally and wants what's best for us! We know He has a plan for us! He has a plan for Ashton, for Todd, AND the Barretts! We know He sent His son to teach us, save us, befriend us, love us, and serve us! (**Exclamation points followed everything in this paragraph because it is great news!) 

This is why we are happy so immensely stocked-up on joy that it's seeping from our pores.  I know my Savior lives.  He has big plans for all of His children if only we would let Him in! If you want to know more click here and explore.

Happy Sunday Y'all.