This Girl Can

I meeaaan....how can you not love this? #thisgirlcan

Cheers to a new week!  Really looking forward to making it a great one!

❤, Ashton Tilton

Oh Oprah, You've Gone Done It Again

Just a little Oprah to kick start your Friday.  "Only you have the power to take responsibility to move your life forward." Amen sista!

Post by Emeka Mbadiwe.

TGIF y'all!
♥, Ashton Tilton

But Possible.

Each morning when I get to work, the first thing I check is NieNie's blog.  I have been a follower of her blog for quite some time now, and it is the only blog that I check consistently everyday.  Most other blogs (unless you're my fambam of course!) I've just lost interest in over time.  But I keep coming back to NieNie's because of her honesty, positive disposition, and just all around uplifting words.  She's a mother that has inspired me even before I became a momma.  Heck, even before I got married!  I appreciate what she stands for and the example she sets for millions.  Yes...just ask Buns, she is my hero.  Whenever I want to share some insight that I got from her blog, I feel like I'm constantly prefacing it by being like "So Buns, you know that blogger that I love that got in the plane crash?..."  But after Buns told me that I could just say "So Stephanie wrote..."  Hahaha.  In other words, he knows who the heck that is because I talk about her so much!  If there was one person I could meet before I died, it would be Stephanie Nielson.  Duh.

I went to check out her blog this morning, and read something that hit me like a ton of bricks...

"But mostly I got better because I learned to love myself.

And when I loved myself, I loved my children and others more, and then my desire to serve my children and others was greater, and then I got better.

It's a pretty simple idea, not always so simple to master.

But possible."

via Stephanie Nielson

 

(pictures of Roni's first week that made me get all sappy this morning...can we talk about how little she is just setting there on Buns' shoulder!?)

Words can't even describe how much I needed that quote today.  Not to be a whiner, but yesterday kind of rocked my world in the mothering department.  Reeser has been pretty sick.  Her poor little throat has been swollen and red making it hard to eat.  She's got a raw bum for reasons you can probably imagine, and understandably it's caused lots of tears.  We all know that it's no fun for baby or momma when baby is sick.  Breaks your heart, but let's be real, also takes a toll on ya.  

And when you're exhausted and tired from a long day, sometimes your patience runs thin in other areas...the house, work, church calling, etc... Yesterday I feel like I took my exhaustion out in frustration with that I didn't get the laundry done like I wanted, I didn't finish painting the front room like I wanted, I didn't put in the hours I wanted for work, I didn't send out that important email for my calling.  Soooo yeah.  Basically threw myself a big, fat pity party. #holla

After some QT with Buns and a good sleep though, I woke up this morning ready to make today different than yesterday.  And I woke up to that quote by Stephanie Nielson.  And it made me realize that I have to love myself even on the exhausting days.  I can't be so hard on myself!  Days like that will come around where kids are sick, and the single most important thing is to be at their beckon call.  To love them and snuggle them and assure them the sickness won't last forever.  Days like that involve popsicles for sore throats, Disney movies galore, Sesame Street on repeat, soft voices, snuggles for daaays, and all the love you can kiss and squeeze them with.

So love yourself. Because when you love yourself, you love other more deeply and you have a greater desire to serve them.

Happy Thursday y'all!

♥, Ashton Tilton

Incredible

Happy Monday y'all!

Let's make it an incredible week.

 ♥, Ashton Tilton

If I Could Write a Letter To Me

I was driving home the other night and that song by Brad Paisley, Letter to Me, came on the radio.  If you haven't heard the song before, he sings about all the things he would write in a letter to himself at age 17.  Man, I love that song, and man, I love B-rad.  Listening to it got me thinking about all the things I would tell my teenage self.  OH yeah....that's a long list.  So here it is...a letter to myself (or any teenager for that matter) at age 17.

Dear 17-year-old self, 

Right now is a pretty crazy time for you.  In just a year you're gonna graduate and be off on your own.  You're deciding where you should go and what you want to do with your life, and it all seems a little scary and totally overwhelming.  You don't have to worry about the details of it all though because everything irons out how it should.

Sometimes you feel a little confused about who you are and what your purpose is.  You wonder if the only thing going for you is basketball.  Sometimes you might not feel pretty.  You might feel like you could be tanner, that your hair could be longer, or that your legs are too big, but you are beautiful just the way you are.  Everyone has insecurities.  You're not the only one.  Take comfort in that all your friends around you are trying to figure out the whole self-confidence thing too.  Even though you might not want to take the time out everyday to do it, and He seems a little distant and unreachable, pray to your Heavenly Father about what's in your heart.  He'll bring you comfort and remind you that you're a daughter of God.  

Invest time in your family.  They will be your best friends forever.  You may not want to spend time with your parents on the weekends, but every now and again, stay home, hang with and talk to them.  They are dying to hear about what's going on in your life and will give you the best advice anyone can give you.  Even if you think they're antiquated and don't understand...they do.  

Love your siblings. Your brothers and sisters will always share your childhood.  No one will understand that part of you like your siblings do.  There's a special bond there.  Don't underestimate how much their friendship will mean to you because you don't think they understand.  They love you and always will.

Just because you're going to college doesn't mean you're an adult.  So quit acting like you know it all.  And just because you're going to college, it doesn't mean you'll have all the answers now that you're on your own.  Value the time you have left with your family because you'll miss them a lot that first semester away from home.  And actually...every semester of college after that.  Especially your Mom.  That first semester away from home is gonna be a doozy.  Really tough stuff.  You'll wanna bag the whole college scene and go closer to home.  But you'll find one of your best friends in an unexpected place.  He'll help you navigate the whole freshman scene.  You might feel alone for a little while at first, but be patient, "everything is unfolding as it should."

College will be full of ups and downs.  Mostly ups, but the downs will sometimes seem unbearable.  Don't let those times break you.  Be strong and hopeful.  Rely on your friends and family.  Especially your Mom.  She will be your anchor, even though she seems really far away.  When you talk to her, everything won't feel quite as intense and hard as you think it is.  She'll bring you comfort and the best advice anyone can give you simply because she's your mom.  She knows you better than anyone else in the whole world.  She has been your advocate and number one fan from the moment you took your first breath.  Value that relationship.  It's a special one.

Be proud of who you are.  Harness the happiness inside of you.  Don't let anyone make you feel dumb for having a good attitude and being happy.  Enjoy the fun you'll have in college!  Take school seriously, but not too seriously.  Work hard, but enjoy the social aspect.  Make friends and build relationships.  They'll be some of your most valuable relationships.

Your heart is gonna get broken.  Twice.  The first time will be unexpected, and it won't even be because of a boy.  You'll lose your best friend.  Your paths will take different directions, and it will be harder than you ever would've thought.  It may not seem like it at the time, but one day that friendship will heal.  Bridges can be built over bridges that have burned.  You will spend a lot of lonely nights at home, but thankfully your home at that time will be with a family that will become like your own.  There will be two children you'll nanny for that will become two of your best friends.  You'll love them with your whole heart, and they'll help you overcome what you're going through without even realizing it.  At that time, go to church.  Be involved.  You'll meet people that will change your life.  You'll be strengthened and reminded of the love that God has for you.  I want you to know that if you ever forget who you are, you can get on your knees and ask God to remind you.  Because he will always remind you.

The second time will be because of a boy.  It will be hard, and you'll shed lots of tears.  You'll drive to California on a whim to get a change of scenery for the summer.  Then you'll drive right back because it wasn't for you.  But don't be discouraged because there's something really incredibly awesome waiting for you in Utah.  

It's a boy.

But not just any boy.  It's your best friend.  It's the person that makes you better.  And happy.  Sweet merciful, you'll be happy.  You'll start to realize that everything up to that point was just one more stepping stone on your way to him.  He'll let you be Y O U .  You won't have to try, your relationship will just fall into place.  It will continue to feel right.  So right that spending a day without him feels weird.  So right that you'll know really quickly that he's the one you'll want to spend forever with.  People are gonna think you're crazy for moving so fast, but follow your heart on this one.  It'll be the best decision you've ever made.  And you'll call him Buns.  You can imagine why.

Right after your one-year anniversary with your boo snack, you'll have a baby.  Yep, that's right, you heard me, a B-A-B-Y.  And it'll be a girl.  A beautiful baby girl.  She'll rock your world at first.  It will be a hard adjustment, but the best adjustment you'll ever make.  She'll soften your heart, and you'll develop a love for her that rocks your socks off.  At first it develops slowly, but one day look at her, and just by looking at her, you'll be brought to tears.  She'll come to mean everything to you.  Your world will revolved around her and your hubby, and you'll love every second of it except for the seconds that you don't because sometimes you won't.  

Marriage can be hard sometimes.  You'll continually learn and grow with each other.  You'll recognize some things about your personality that you never really knew before you got married.  Be patient with each other.  Most importantly, have fun.  Don't take yourselves too seriously.  Make time to go on dates.  Dates will strengthen your relationship.  Communication is also so important!  It might be a little different at first, because you've never been one to talk about your feelings a lot, but again, it will strengthen your relationship.  FO SHO.

I guess my biggest advice is to choose happiness.  Because it's a choice.  Enjoy the people around you.  Enjoy the opportunities around you.  Enjoy the journey of learning and growing.  Smile as often as possible.  Laugh even more.  There are so many beautiful reasons you have to be happy Ashton.  

See ya in 7 years girl!

❤, Ashton Tilton

Humpty-Dumpty: The Golden Egg

Humpty Dumpty:  Yesterday at church before the third meeting, I handed Roni off to Buns (to learn more about the third meeting, click here).  I was a free woman!  Hollaaaa.  For one hour, I could sit and enjoy the messages that were shared.  The meeting started off with a thought from a sister who has had a tough hand dealt to her in life.  She started off by sharing very personal struggles.  She is a beautiful woman but shared her struggles with self-esteem and self-worth.  Throughout her life because of her past, she has felt at times, worthless.  My heart sank.  

That morning before she church,  she was getting ready, going over in her head the message she had already prepared to share with us.  She looked at herself in the mirror and thought of the movie she watched with her children the night before, Puss in Boots.  It seemed silly but her heart swelled, and she knew she needed to bag the message she had already prepared and share the story of Humpty Dumpty (according to Puss in Boots) instead.  

I've never seen the movie, but from what I understood, Humpty was known as a criminal in the beginning.  Puss in Boots, the defender of good, and Humpty Dumpty, the criminal, became the most unlikely friends.  In the beginning, Humpty robbed the bank and Puss was framed, so they had to flee from the police.  Throughout the movie, they face all sorts of adventures and obstacles.  Some they overcame easily and some not so much.  At the end of the movie, Humpty Dumpty wants to fix his mistakes and sacrifices himself to save the day by jumping off of a canyon cliff (I'm probably slaughtering this story haha but we're gettin' to the good stuff).  When Puss in Boots goes to see where Humpty fell in the canyon, he sees a Golden Egg surrounded by cracked egg shell.  Humpty survived the fall, and Puss says, "I always knew you were good inside."

The woman that told this story explained that sometimes its hard to find the good in others or even to find the good in yourself.  We are hard on others and even harder on ourselves:  we are our worst critics.  We let outside appearances or past indiscretions taint our opinions of others and contort the lens through which we see ourselves.  We're quick to pass judgement instead of quick to forgive and love.  She told about how ironically she was driving to church and passed by a man that she immediately judged based on his outward appearance.  She caught herself mid-judgement and was reminded of Humpty Dumpty: the Golden Egg.  She felt impressed that he was someone's Golden Egg.  That we are all someone's Golden Egg.  That we are all God's children, and we need to see people as who they can become.  Seeing them as someone who's has tremendous worth and potential.  Because we've all got serious potential, if only we could see it!

And that was her message:  That we are all Golden Eggs.  We all have imperfections and parts of ourselves that we feel just don't quite make the cut.  Parts of us that make us feel less than.  Things about ourselves we wish we were better at.  This woman shared that in the eyes of the world, she might not have accomplishments or characteristics that define her as successful and beautiful.  But in God's eyes, she is both.  In God's eyes she is more beautiful than she can even fathom.  I can't even begin to describe the power that was in her message!  I felt strength and reassurance in the fact that I am a Golden Egg.  That you are a Golden Egg!  I felt confidence in that truth.  We all have such different exteriors and live in such different circumstances, but we find common ground in that we are all beautiful sons and daughters of a God who loves us with a love that is infinite and unconditional.  I hope you feel that today.  Especially if today is a day you feel a little less than or like you're not quite enough.  Because you are.  For heaven sakes, you really are!

Cheers to being Golden Eggs y'all.
❤, Ashton Tilton

Recycled: Love Your Girls

Just because I'm too lazy to write something original today, here is a recycled post of mine from a couple years ago.  A piece of something that I'm passionate about.  Love your girls!  AND HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL.  We made it.

I've been in the process of organizing an "I Am Beautiful" program for groups of girls 15-18 at a local youth detention center revolving around bullying and finding true beauty based off of BYU Woman's Resources' "Recapturing Beauty" launch in 2010.  The whole process has been slow and it took me a while to really put my nose to the grind in doing it.  But after talking with one of my 6th grade girls that I student taught a couple months ago about her battle with bullying, nasty, incessant name-calling, vicious notes passed about her, and feeling that all the horrible things said about her must be true..."Why else wouldn't I have any friends Mrs. Barrett?"  My heart broke in two when she told me that, and I knew I needed to step up to the plate.  For whatever reason, I am pretty dang passionate about all things womanhood, inner beauty, empowerment, and confidence...feeling your self worth and seeing your beauty.   Especially these young girls who NEED to not only see their beauty but discover what beauty really is....especially at such a young age.  That's where it starts.  Bullying is real.  Your own children, teenagers, nieces, nephews, grand-kids, etc...it's a reality for them.  Children need to know they are loved.  They need kind words.  They need to learn to know their self-worth, so if they face bullying, they'll have the confidence to brush it off and stand tall despite what's thrown their way.  Even if your child isn't the victim of bullying, they see it.  They know what it looks like.  Teach them what it looks like.  Teach them to stand up for those who are mistreated.  Teach them to be kind.  Show them their worth by using kind, encouraging, and constructive words.  Hold high expectations for them, but don't expect perfection. Expect them to recognize their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions, and strive to do better in the future because they can. Make sure they know that you know, they can succeed.  

Bottom line...love them. Love them for who they are.  Love them unconditionally.

The following video is a poem by Shane Koyczan, a victim of bullying.  Stumbled across this and loved it.  I was taken back at first by some intense parts, but I love the message he is sending about beauty.

"...because they see her heart before her skin."

“  … and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself, get a better mirror, look a little closer, stare a little longer, because there’s something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit.”

Support. Empower. Connect.

XOXO

Relating to this topic is a really wonderful article by fitvillians...Talk about a powerhouse of womanhood.
Please read, worth your time.

"When kids are younger — especially before they’re consuming tons of media and have friends — they get almost all of their behavioral cues from their parents. If their parents think it’s okay to call people names, then they’ll think it’s okay to call people names. If their mom hates her body, they can learn to hate their bodies, too. 

If you want kids to learn that all people are equal and good, it requires vigilance. You can’t change the world around you — and you can’t always protect them — but you can explain to them that everyone’s equal, and you can say it again and again.This goes double for disparaging your own body in front of your children. 

My mom always struggled with what she perceived to be fatness, and therefore was always on a diet. I don’t know how many disparaging comments I’ve heard her say about herself in my life, but if I had a dollar for every one, I could probably pay for my enormous amounts of therapy. 

It’s hard enough to be a woman in our sexist culture, and the greatest gift we can give our girls is confidence in themselves — and that includes their bodies. As a parent, you’re competing with a plethora of outside influences — TV, advertising, friends, bullies, teachers — for your child’s attention. Inevitably, we’re all screwing up the kids around us — don’t worry, we’re teaching them good lessons, too! — but this is one thing that’s so freaking important. 

A girl’s sense of self is everything."