Sap City Series {Daddy-daughter Edition}

I was looking through pictures from our summer in South Carolina, and these are two of my favorites.  Todd and Reese have such a special relationship.  I feel like I say that all the time, but they really do.  As my baby girl gets older and older each day, I realize how precious moments like these are.  I'm feeling pretty sappy right now, so if you can't tell this is going to be a sappy post, SO...brace yourself.  

Today was General Conference for our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I heard inspiring words from some of my favorite people.  The leaders of my church.  They spoke things to my heart that meant so much to me I can hardly figure out how to put it into words.  So for the sake of self-preservation haha, I'm not going to even try.  But I will say that at the end of those meetings (even if I feel asleep here and there lol), I left inspired.  I left feeling ready to conquer the world.  I left feeling peace.  Such overwhelming peace.  A peace that I've been seeking for a little while now.  Life has just been going so fast.  Too fast.  My baby girl will be two in December.  My baby boy is almost 4 months.  Time is flying.  I found myself aching for my baby Reese today.  My 4 month old little Reese.  Wanting to hold her and rock her until she fell asleep in my arms. 

My children and husband are my world.  I have so much love for them.  Children are such angelic little humans.  Don't get me wrong, Reese throws tantrums like the best of them and Riggs fights sleeps like a pro, but they truly are freaking sweethearts.  I love them.  And I'm so lucky to be their momma.

In one of the talks today, it was said that..."Right now is eternity," (Dieter F. Uchtdorf).

I've been thinking about that phrase all day today....right now is my eternity.  Today I felt that.  I really felt that.  I hope I remember how today felt when the days are really hard.  On the days that I can barely function because I'm so sleep deprived.  On the days that Todd really gets under my skin.  Because we're not perfect, and sometimes we get on each other's nerves.  On the days that Rigg's explodes through FOUR outfits in less than an hour.  True story y'all.  On the days that Reese has a million meltdowns because she can't find the words to express what she wants, and I can't read her mind.  On all those types of days, I hope that at the end of them, I can find it in myself to remember to see blessings instead of burdens.  

I hope y'all have had a great Saturday and have an even better Sunday.

XO,Me

#sapcityseries

Double Trouble

It was bad real bad Michael Jackson:  (Warning:  Grammatical errors are inevitable) I've been thinking so much the last couple of days about how motherhood has changed me.  Like seriously taking inventory.  It's been a little emotional, a little hysterical, and kind of mind-blowing.  Bear with me as I throw up my thoughts.  They may or may not make sense.  You have been warned.  

Yesterday I babysat.  She's 14 months old and mobile.  Way more mobile than Reese.  Climbing.  Lots and lots of climbing.  She's an absolute doll, don't get me wrong, but very...active.  I watched her all day while her momma had surgery and was so glad to help.  This post is not about babysitting.  It's about motherhood.  It's about how yesterday I didn't think I would be having any more kids.  None.  Zilch.  Nada.  Not to be inappropriate, but if Todd wanted more kids yesterday, I would've told him to look elsewhere.  Cause there would be no more children hoppin' on this family train.  

Magnets thrown off the fridge.  Chairs climbed on and jumped off of unsuccessfully.  Chasing happened ALL (pause) DAY (pause) LONG.  Toys fought over.  Unintentional slaps thrown.  Plugs pulled.  Blinds ripped down.  Couches climbed, couldn't balance, and fell off.  Naps were off schedule.  No one wanted their food.  Reese spits her food out now and thinks it's funny.  It's actually just really messy, and I hate it.  

Yesterday I was dying to be done.  I wanted a break.  I wanted Todd to come home, so I could throw the responsibility on him.  I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for days.  I had no desire to be cordial, friendly, or happy.  I was in a pretty icky mood.  It was just one of those days, ya feel me?

When all the chaos ended, and Reese was in bed finally at 8:30p, I collapsed.  I literally plopped on the bed and had no thoughts.  I was too exhausted for thoughts.  I didn't want to think through my feelings, I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't want to come up with a solution.  I just wanted to lay there and breath.  

No one really tells you how good of a mom you are.  Or at least not enough.  Don't get me wrong, I know Todd appreciates me and what I do, but no woman gets the thanks she needs to feel validated every single day 24/7.  Being a mom is a pretty thankless job.

Today I thought a lot about how different my life is now that I'm a mom.  Not to toot my own horn because I'm not, it's just the facts for any mom out there...but I sacrifice a lot to be a mom.  You sacrifice your body, your time, your entire life.  Sometimes you sacrifice your desires and your goals.  You always sacrifice your time.  I guess I've really struggled lately with the whole not enough hours in the day vibe.  I have this perpetual to-do list in the back of my head.  There is always something to do, something to finish by a certain time, someone to call, someone to email, some household chore to get done, or dinner to be made.  It's constant and sometimes feels never-ending.  And it drove me a little crazy today.  

For those who don't know, I can be a little OCD sometimes.  I wouldn't say I'm a perfectionist, but when I want something to get done, I NEED it to get done.  Sometimes I rush through it just so that I can say it's finished.  One more thing checked off the list!  I've been trying to find the balance.  Trying oh so hard.  And I think I need to just let it go.  I need to let go of this constant to-do list.  I need to free myself of that because it's driving me crazy folks.  Fuh-reaking cuh-razy.

So here's where I need your help.  What works for you?  Gimme the knitty-gritty details. Seriously though.  This is suuurious business.  

Love you all so much.  Your support and love is overwhelming and totally throws me for a loop.  There's not really a positive ending to this post other than this quote that my sister-in-law posted on her blog, and really hit home for me.  Totally brought me to Niagara Falls sobs.  Yeah.  It was that good.  It's my man, Gordon B. Hinckley.  I love this man.  To learn more about who he was, click here. 

"To women, many of you think you are failures.  You feel you cannot do well, that with all of your effort it is not sufficient.  We all feel that way.  I feel that way as I speak to you tonight.  I long for, I pray for the power and the capacity to lift you, to inspire you, to thank you, to praise you, and to bring a measure of gladness into your hearts. 

We  all worry about our performance.  We all wish we could do better.  But unfortunately we do not realize, we do not often see the results that come of what we do.

To you young women with small children, yours is a tremendous challenge.  So often there is not enough money.  You must scrimp and save.  You must be wise and careful in your expenditures.  You must be strong and bold and brave and march forward with gladness in your eye and love in your heart.  How blessed you are, my dear young mothers.  You have children who will be yours forever.  I hope that you have been sealed in the house of the Lord and that your family will be an everlasting family in the kingdom of our Father.  

Now, my dear sisters, that is the way with you.  You are doing the best you can, and that best results in good to yourself and to others.  Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure.  Get on your knees and ask for the blessings of the Lord; then stand on your feet and do what you are asked to do.  Then leave the matter in the hands of the Lord.  You will discover that you have accomplished something beyond price."

Words of wisdom from one heck of a man.  Needed this reminder today.

❤, Ashton Tilton

On What You Say To Your Children

The Tongue of Angels: "We must be so careful in speaking to a child.  What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself.  But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God.  Be constructive in your comments to a child...always.  Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely.  You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget...and to forgive.  And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it.  You may say most positively that 'Susan is pretty, and Sandra is bright,' but all Susan will remember is that she isn't bright, and Sandra that she isn't pretty.  Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture's obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'" (Jeffrey R. Holland)

Click here to read more.

Peace I Give Unto You

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)

Yesterday was a little okay, a lot on the cray-cray side.  We're talking laundry flying, dishes piling, work meetings overloading, feeling the burn of a perpetual to-do list frying my brain, emotions boiling, and honestly y'all, just feeling like I wasn't being the homemaker, mom, and wifey I should be.  I let myself get so overwhelmed with this concept of what I should be and what should be done at the end of the day, that I let it affect my attitude which spilled over to how quickly I was to get frustrated with Buns and Reese.  I was a hot mess.  YIKES!

After a "come to Jesus" moment with myself last night, I hit the pillow with a determination to figure out how to lessen the stress I put on myself as a wife, mom, homemaker, and employee.  Something had to give.  

And here I am writing this post in efforts to share something I learned about this nasty thing called...perfectionism.

Perfectionism: an attitude or behavior that takes an admirable desire and turns it into an unrealistic expectation to be perfect now.  I pulled this from a talk/devotional I read this morning by Gerrit W. Gong (click here to read entire devotional) on becoming perfect in Christ and how that's different from perfectionism.  This definition of perfectionism kind of rocked my world y'all.  I felt like all of a sudden I had a circle of pointer-finger emojis circling round my head implicating me as a victim of this condition.  I was immediately sucked in and wanted to know how the heck do I overcome that unrealistic expectation?  Are you a victim of it too?  Let's kick this to the curb together! 

Do you have fears of being imperfect?  Do you fear making mistakes?  Do you feel your not good enough?  Do you view yourself as a failure compared to others?  Do you feel you're not doing enough to merit His love?  Are you left feeling sleepless, anxious, discouraged, or depressed?  These are all feelings Gong helps us navigate in his devotional on perfection.

If you are feeling any of these things to any extent, I have the most wonderful and greatest news...there is an out!  We can let go of the anxiety, discouragement, and exhaustion that results from trying to live up to those unrealistic expectations.  We can embrace the peace, joy, and assurance that we are enough.  And we can find that relief through our Savior, Jesus Christ!  Our Savior's love frees us and allows us to let go of the fears of imperfection and not adding up.  His love allows us to be more forgiving of ourselves and the people around us.  As we try to be more kind, humble, and selfless like our Savior was, we can be released of the pressure to be perfect.  Released I tell you!  Being perfected through Christ does not mean being perfect now.  Being perfected through Christ means embarking on the "eternal journey of our soul" and understanding that we are here on the earth to experience lifelong refinement.  It's totally refreshing if you ask me!  No one is required to be perfect and guess what?  No one is perfect!  We are all children of God learning and growing together.  We're just trying to make sense of who we are and what our purpose is.  

Something else I thought was powerful in the devotional was that the harder we try to be perfect, the further we feel from the perfection we seek.  Can I get an amen?! (Insert hands in the "ayer" emoji)  This brought me to the word I put in the photo above:  Simplify.  Getting back to the basics.  Filling your day with f a i t h.  Filling your day with h o p e.  If you don't like where you are in your life and are feeling unhappy, I challenge you to find the goodness in your circumstances.  Actually get out a pen and paper and jot down some things your grateful for today.  And if you can't even brainstorm one thing because you're feeling so helpless, I'll kick start that list for you...You are a child of God.  And that makes you beautiful.  That makes you good enough.  You have something inside of you that no one else has.  Harness who you are.  Embrace your gifts and talents.  I promise they are unique and something that no one else has to offer!  Strengthen your circle of influence.  Reaching out to others always seems to make us forget about ourselves.  Strengthen the relationships with the people around you: your children, husband, friends, coworkers, mom, grandma, cousins, and the list goes on.  Send one text today to a person you've been meaning to get in touch with or someone you just want to know is thought of and loved.  It will brighten your day and it will certainly brighten their day.

Cheers to finding goodness in unexpected places, and cheers to being YOU.

❤, Ashton Tilton

A Beautiful Story

Family Night: Temple Edition

Todd and I have been trying to make an effort to put more thought into our family nights as opposed to winging it at 10:59pm (when we try to go to bed around 11) or forgetting it altogether.  So this past Monday Todd and I had a family night about temples.  We went through this article together from the LDS Newsroom entitled Mormonism in Pictures:  The Beauty and Purpose of Mormon Temples.  If you're looking to learn more about Mormon temples and what they're all about, this is a really great article to read.  Apparently the LDS Newsroom does these Mormonism in Pictures every once in a while that features pictures depicting the Church and its members around the world.  Very cool.  

I love how the article says, "In Mormon temples, Latter-day Saints learn about Jesus Christ, the purpose of life and the importance of marriage and family," and then goes on to say, "The Mormon temple is a place where the most cherished human relationships are made eternal. Mormon couples are joined together in marriage in a temple ceremony called a sealing. Church members believe this bond unites the couple and any children they have together forever."

As Todd, Reese, and I walked around the Provo temple on Monday night, of course we talked about all sorts of "remember whens"...

Remember when we sat on the hill at the top of the temple grounds and decided that we wanted to get married in this temple?

Remember when we use to run around the temple the summer we dated? (And KILL my legs in the process...yeah I remember that alright.)

Remember when this was basically where it all went down?  (I lived a few blocks away from the temple when we were dating and engaged, and Todd's home is just up the road too.)  

Remember when we got sealed in this temple to each other for freakin' time and all eternity?  (Yeah...that was pretty cool.)  

Remember when we walked out of the doors of the temple as husband and wife?  (Hallelujah, praise the high heavens!!! We made it!!)

After we went through every "remember when" we could think of and finally headed home 'cause Roni was about to have a meltdown...we got home, put her to bed, and watched the season finale of Parenthood Season 5.

Then we crawled into bed and recapped the day.  We decided it had been a pretty wonderful day, and we agreed we should really try to keep up this whole "purposeful family night" thing because it really was one killer night.

2 Months

If you follow me on instagram this is basically the same updates, but our little princess is 2 months old!  Our little hoodrat loves her swing and to be wrapped up real tight when she's fighting sleep.  She's a healthy little chunkster with a 98th percentile-sized, Barrett head.  She loves talking to her momma and daddy, cooing like nobody's business, and it doesn't take much to get her to smile.  She's got seriously stanky gas and smiles in her sleep.  She takes after her momma and always calms down when Alicia Keys is on.  She is our little princess, and life is beautiful with her in it.  

One of my sister-in-laws sisters-in-law, Katie Jo, told me when I was pregnant that for her the 6-week mark was the magic number...when everything kind of fell into place and resembled a routine again.  She was right!  For me anyways!  Don't get me wrong, there are still the hang-ups and hiccups, but I feel like I've finally gotten the hang of it.  And when I say the hang of it, I don't in any way mean that the questions and concerns that come up ALL the time have stopped (because they haven't), but what I mean is that when they do come up, I've learned that it's okay to not have all the answers.  God has given us this beautiful girl and made me her momma.  I know that He is watching out for all three of us and that everything will go as it should.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately.  

"It is what it is...until it's not."

Life is constantly changing for us these days (um hello, new baby).  Most recent is Todd's work schedule.  Right after we had Reese and he started his new semester, he got the most BO$$ schedule he's ever had at the Missionary Training Center.  He worked in the mornings, went to school during the day, came home for dinner, and weekends he was all mine (for the most part anyways-I shared him with his HW).  It was a great schedule, and I got into a routine which involved having him to myself all nights and weekends-"Huzzah!"  Well...because everything was going just as I wanted it to...his schedule changed...Duh!  Long story short, someone at his work quit, so he had to take over that person's schedule.  A.K.A. the suckiest schedule E'ER (or so I thought).  I seriously wanted to hunt that person down and demand a legitimate explanation for terminating his employment.  The day he told me, I picked him up from work after a particularly crazy day, and as soon as the words spilled from his mouth, I started bawling.  Yes folks, roller coaster emotions at their finest.  I was so mad.  We're talking serious rage.  It sounds pretty stupid to be so ticked about a schedule change (which has really not been bad at ALL and has actually been a huge blessing), but being a new mom, I felt like I finally was getting the hang of things and changing things up on me RIGHT after the most recent change (aka Reese) was NO BUENO.  But you learn to deal, and it's actually been the greatest change that ever could have happened to his schedule.  I actually think I get to see Buns more!  

I'm reaching that point that I come to sometimes when I blog where I don't want to finish the post because it's taking too long, so let me wrap this up... 

Moral of the story is that "it is what it is...until it isn't" is the truest, most accurate statement describing life ever.  And I'm going to embrace it.  When life hurtles lemons your direction, make lemonade, because before you know it, it's gonna throw oranges, apples, or poodles instead.

"Oy with the poodles already!"

Put your hands together for Reese Barrett:  

(obsessed is an understatement)

What I Believe

I thought this was an interesting article and answers a lot of questions about Mormons! Follow the link at the end to read the article.

via Mormon Newsroom

Click here to read about the core beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints: Mormons 101.

Believe it or not, this was an accidental snapshot en route to getting a perfectly-posed smiling snapshot, but I like this one better. We were at the elementary school down the street tossing a pigskin in between conference sessions. 

Conference weekend couldn't have been better.  Great talks, great men (general authorities and Buns), and great food.  I discovered this weekend, as I was listening to the healing, happy, and hopeful words of the leaders of our church, the exact reasons why I am so happy. Buns and I are truly blessed. I certainly wouldn't categorize our life as hard, but it's not all peaches and cream either.  Right now we're juggling school, work, finances, and being newlyweds. We struggle with a lot of the same trials I'm sure that other newlyweds face. We are not only the Barretts, but we are Ashton and Todd.  We are individuals, each a daughter and son of our Father in Heaven, who comes with our own sets of strengths and weaknesses. We are both so very aware of that.  We know that we're not perfect, and we know we're not exempt from hard things.  Knowing that though, WHY AREN'T WE UNHAPPY?  If we are so painstakingly aware of our shortcomings and the ever so present challenges that come our way, why aren't we sulking, depressed, or overwhelmed? (Who am I kidding, sometimes we are definitely overwhelmed! lol) We have our moments, but we pillow-talked this weekend about life as husband and wife, and  we came to the same unanimous conclusion...we are so happy! And that was even after discussing finances! Haha.  

So back to the why and the how...how can we be so happy?  Let me tell you what's up...

We have faith in a Heavenly Father who we know loves us unconditionally and wants what's best for us! We know He has a plan for us! He has a plan for Ashton, for Todd, AND the Barretts! We know He sent His son to teach us, save us, befriend us, love us, and serve us! (**Exclamation points followed everything in this paragraph because it is great news!) 

This is why we are happy so immensely stocked-up on joy that it's seeping from our pores.  I know my Savior lives.  He has big plans for all of His children if only we would let Him in! If you want to know more click here and explore.

Happy Sunday Y'all.